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Richmond
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Posts: 1,351
Richmond is female  Richmond has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
19-08-2019, 06:33 PM
821

Re: Let's have a laugh

Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: "Double my IQ" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting Shakespeare.

Then the second fisherman said: "Triple my IQ" and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed.

The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his IQ

The mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisherman excitingly said "Yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman...
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Mr Ploppy
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Perth Western Australia, 3rd house on the right
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20-08-2019, 06:46 AM
822

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: "Double my IQ" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting Shakespeare.

Then the second fisherman said: "Triple my IQ" and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed.

The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his IQ

The mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisherman excitingly said "Yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman...
You are joking, Richmond.



How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but they'll have to get in there first.
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Richmond
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22-08-2019, 03:37 PM
823

Re: Let's have a laugh

This sums it up.....BUT could apply to either sex!

A woman in a hot air balloon realized that she was lost. So she reduced altitude until she spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am, can you please help me?"

The man below replied "Well you're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"Wow, You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am", replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well, answered the balloonist, "Everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."

The man below responded, "Ah, well you must be in management." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..."
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22-08-2019, 05:53 PM
824

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
This sums it up.....BUT could apply to either sex!

A woman in a hot air balloon realized that she was lost. So she reduced altitude until she spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am, can you please help me?"

The man below replied "Well you're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"Wow, You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am", replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well, answered the balloonist, "Everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."

The man below responded, "Ah, well you must be in management." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..."
Brilliant. Nicked. Thank you.
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Richmond
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22-08-2019, 09:42 PM
825

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by JBR ->
Brilliant. Nicked. Thank you.
Welcome - glad you enjoyed -- sending my fee!!
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Mr Ploppy
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23-08-2019, 07:09 AM
826

Re: Let's have a laugh

Recently I introduced two of my lisping friends to each other.
After a short but rough fistfight, they realized that neither was mocking the other.
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Penthouse in Essex overlooking the Thames.
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23-08-2019, 09:43 AM
827

Re: Let's have a laugh

Playing catch up some great jokes guys thanks for the laughs.
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Richmond
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23-08-2019, 05:38 PM
828

Re: Let's have a laugh

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny.
So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret.
After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty.
She looked more beautiful than she ever had before!
All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.
She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.
There is no way I could ever repay you.”
“My darling,” he replied, “think nothing of it.
I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek
Richmond's Avatar
Richmond
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23-08-2019, 05:39 PM
829

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by longfellow ->
Playing catch up some great jokes guys thanks for the laughs.
Glad you enjoyed -- and yes great participation by all .

Thanks for so many laughs
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Richmond
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23-08-2019, 05:41 PM
830

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy ->
Recently I introduced two of my lisping friends to each other.
After a short but rough fistfight, they realized that neither was mocking the other.
LOL Yeth - that wath velly funny
 
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