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There was an old man from Northampton
Who had a really big 'Hampton'
His wife screamed "You dare!"
He said "I will, I don't care"
She cried, "I'll screw Peter Frampton!"
As Fred got his bike out of the shed
A bird dropped number two's on his head
"Wow that was lucky"
"Right" said Fred who was plucky
Grabbed his pistol and shot the bird dead.