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Judd
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Judd is offline
West Riding of Yorkshire
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21-05-2021, 03:19 PM
271

Re: One liners and short jokes!

I have an idea for a chain of Elvis steak houses.

It will be for people who love meat tender.
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JBR
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Cheshire, UK
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21-05-2021, 03:43 PM
272

Re: One liners and short jokes!

Originally Posted by Judd ->
I have an idea for a chain of Elvis steak houses.

It will be for people who love meat tender.
Judd's Avatar
Judd
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Judd is offline
West Riding of Yorkshire
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Posts: 12,538
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21-05-2021, 09:53 PM
273

Re: One liners and short jokes!

I received my Knighthood from the Queen today... "Arise Sir Osis of the Liver"...
realspeed
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South coast
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22-05-2021, 10:08 AM
274

Re: One liners and short jokes!

Have you heard that there is a national shortage of chocolate sticks to go in your 99 icecream? it’s flake news
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effingpot
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Hampshire, UK
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14-06-2021, 06:53 PM
275

Re: One liners and short jokes!

Autocorrect has become my worst enema!
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Percy Vere
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Wilds and woolly wastes of Staffordshire, UK
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15-06-2021, 04:14 PM
276

Re: One liners and short jokes!

Originally Posted by effingpot ->
autocorrect has become my worst enema!
Judd's Avatar
Judd
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Judd is offline
West Riding of Yorkshire
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Posts: 12,538
Judd is male  Judd has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
22-06-2021, 08:31 PM
277

Re: One liners and short jokes!

When the wife and I got to a special wedding anniversary, I booked a night at a fancy hotel, reserved a table at a posh restaurant and splashed out a load of money on a limousine with driver to take us to both venues.

The car arrived, but no driver, so the night was ruined. All that money on the car and nothing to chauffeur it.
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Vlad
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West Midlands UK
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22-06-2021, 08:39 PM
278

Re: One liners and short jokes!

I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my missus walking down the aisle towards me. My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable. It seemed to take an age but eventually there she was.
I gave her a big smile and a cheeky wink then said "Get that trolley here love, there doing 3 cases of Stella for the price of 2
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JBR
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22-06-2021, 08:50 PM
279

Re: One liners and short jokes!

Originally Posted by Vlad ->
I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my missus walking down the aisle towards me. My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable. It seemed to take an age but eventually there she was.
I gave her a big smile and a cheeky wink then said "Get that trolley here love, there doing 3 cases of Stella for the price of 2

The women here are sure to like that one.
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Vlad
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West Midlands UK
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22-06-2021, 09:16 PM
280

Re: One liners and short jokes!

Originally Posted by JBR ->

The women here are sure to like that one.
Dodgy ground….I told it to my good lady…she initially thought I was reminiscing about our wedding…..not impressed…I got one of her looks….the look that would stop a wounded charging premenopausal water buffalo in its tracks.
 
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