How should you treat a disabled person?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-43418251

I found this article interesting.

Disabled people might need some help because of their disability, but as people they should be treated like everyone else, not pitied, or spoken to any differently than you would an able bodied person.

I treat my brain damaged husband as I would have done before his brain haemorrhage in 2006. I don't pity him and tell him like it is, even if that doesn't always make me popular. I do things for him, but I expect him to help me out with the things I am not good at. He cleans the windows much better than me, and I expect him to clean the car too.

However, there is a relative of mine who treats him like he was fragile! They don't let him do anything for himself, they jump up and assist him, which drives him absolutely crazy. At least when they visit, he realises how much he appreciates the way I am with him

Re: How should you treat a disabled person?

I don’t like it when people speak to a disabled person in a patronising manner.
Neither, do l like it when someone will speak to the person with them/their carer, as if the disabled person is invisible or incapable of answering for themselves.

Re: How should you treat a disabled person?

My best friend for over twenty years was a quadruple amputee. She operated her chair with the stump of her right arm. Not only did she have no arms or legs, but also had an ileostomy. She was totally reliant on others, despite that she lived alone.

We used to go out frequently for lunch or to a garden centre or shopping. To me, she was just Xxxx, but it annoyed me intensely when I went out with her and people would talk to me rather than her. I remember once in M&S we had gone in for new underwear for her and the assistant asked me "what size does the lady take?". I was so annoyed, I said to her "ask her yourself, she's had her limbs removed, not her brain".

One time we went to London by train and we were forced to sit in the goods van, despite having booked days before. When I asked the guard "where shall I sit" the response was that I could leave her there and go and sit in a carriage. I ended up spending the entire journey sitting on a box.

I could recount numerous times of the discrimination she suffered. I missed her terribly when the disease finally overcame her, but we had many good times and lots of laughs.

Re: How should you treat a disabled person?

Hi

After my injury I was on crutches for years.

I was very happy if people asked if I needed help, I often said politely, thanks I can manage, other times I needed it.

What annoyed me, really annoyed me,was those who thought my brain had been affected.

It hadn't.

Re: How should you treat a disabled person?

Does your friend take sugar in her tea ?

Re: How should you treat a disabled person?

Treat them as you would anyone else who is not disabled with while being prepared to help if requested to do so .

Re: How should you treat a disabled person?

My brother in law sufferers a stroke last year and no one treats him any differently than before, even though he himself is different. Physically it has not affected him but it's changed his personality.

Re: How should you treat a disabled person?

Have you found that folks have adapted to, and accepted, the change of personality mesco.m

Re: How should you treat a disabled person?

Walking is not an option for wheelchair-bound people and some allowances might have to be made for this. Other than that, treat disabled people the same as you would anyone else. Even if their disability makes them appear different or they are difficult to understand, try to behave normally yourself. Most of the time, disabled people are in there, they understand perfectly but can't express themselves.

I used to go to a house where their disabled son (cerebral palsy) was like that and in the end, the customer would request that I was the one sent there. The reason being that I'd talk to the bloke normally until I could get the hang of what he was saying. He was a bright person inside, yet probably shunned by many.

My wife is thought well of in our community, I'll swear not many actually see her wheelchair now. They see only the person. Very bright and turns out some note-worthy craft items. If all that others see is a nuisance or a danger in a power wheelchair, that's their loss.

Re: How should you treat a disabled person?

I used to look after a little girl under the voluntary relief carers scheme which involved looking after children at the weekends to give their parents a break.

One little girl M was 4 years old and born with cerebral palsy and epilepsy. She couldn't walk and crawled and she couldn't speak but made sounds .
I was told by her mother (a single girl with two other children by other fathers ) who hardly seemed to bother with M that she was 'educationally subnormal' and I wouldn't get any sense out of her .

I treated M as I would any other child showing her how to do things and explaining things to her in detail sure from her expression and gestures that she understood everything I said .

One day I was carrying a pile of ironing upstairs and a bundle of socks dropped off. The little girl quickly crawled to pick them up and to bring them to me.
I bent down to take them and thanked her and said 'What a helpful little person you are' and a tear rolled down her cheek

I wondered how many times in her life this misunderstood child had tried to help and received praise from her mother.
It must be dreadful to be treated as someone who has has little understanding because you lack the ability to do the things others can do.

They moved away soon after that so I didn't see her again.