01-08-2020, 11:49 PM
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Birth certificate, I’m sure I have mine stashed away somewhere.
You could say we were all certified from day one and then we spend the rest of our lives trying to become sane so we can mingle with the rest of humanity,
The only certificate you're sure of getting is the death certificate.
There was a boy in our class who suffered from polio, there were a lot of polio cases around in the 50’s, the poor kids had to wear those horrible steel bars and hard leather brace things on their legs.
Anyway young Flynn in our class had a few other things wrong with him, his ears were huge and he had a lisp, he also had a bad stoop, but he was a cheerful plucky lad and gave as good as he got in the slagging department, and we all know what school kids are for slagging.
One day Fr Burke came into the classroom to examine the kids on catechism, he told us all to relax that he would not be asking any hard questions.
The first victim was a very well mannered boy.
“What is your name son?”
“My name is Nigel Father”
“Who made the World Nigel?”
“God made the World Father”
“Very good Nigel, sit down you passed”
Next up was another nice lad.
“What’s your name me lad?”
“Tell me in your own words, what did God do for you Thomas?”
“Well he gave me a lovely mother and father, and we live in a nice house, daddy has a car and we’re very happy Father”
“Excellent Thomas, you passed also”
Now young Flynn was hidden down the back of the class, teacher put him there in the hope the priest wouldn’t spot him, but alas, the priest sees Flynn’s big ears sticking out from behind the head of Curly O’Toole.
“Now then, stand up you boy at the back” he shouts at Flynn”
“What’s your name son?”
It takes a while for Flynn to struggle to his feet with the use of his crutches.
“Larry Flynn Father”
“Now don’t be shy boy, I’ll be easy on you and ask you the same question I asked Thomas, tell us all in your own simple words what God did for you Larry?”
“He f…ing near ruined me Father”
Well they do insist in school that honesty is the best policy, seems it backfired on Fr. Burke.
That’s a true story, the class was in fits of laughter and as soon as the priest left Flynn got six of the best from the teacher.