28-11-2018, 08:50 PM
982
Re: Jokes for blokes
My wife came down the stairs wearing a power-suit tonight. I asked her where she was going dressed like that ?"I'm going to my first women's empowerment meeting," she sneered at me, "Or as you would call us, the Feminazis..... I won't be stopped by you or anything, and I'm going to show I'm every bit as equal if not superior to men !"
"Oh, ok," I said disinterestedly, "Let me know how it was when you get back."
30 minutes later she came back through the front door looking exhausted.
"Oh, it's over already ?" I asked.
"No," she said, "Darling, would you please reverse the car out of the drive for me."
28-11-2018, 08:51 PM
983
Re: Jokes for blokes
My wife thought it would be funny to enter this "ugly woman" contest they were having at the pub.Unfortunately though, her mood completely changed and she became mortified and upset when she actually won !
"It's all meant to be in fun," I said, trying to console her, "Why has this suddenly upset you so much ?"
"Because Diane Abbott finished second !"
28-11-2018, 09:12 PM
984
Re: Jokes for blokes
Originally Posted by Judd
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My wife thought it would be funny to enter this "ugly woman" contest they were having at the pub.Unfortunately though, her mood completely changed and she became mortified and upset when she actually won !
"It's all meant to be in fun," I said, trying to console her, "Why has this suddenly upset you so much ?"
"Because Diane Abbott finished second !"
30-11-2018, 11:30 PM
988
Re: Jokes for blokes
Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.The wife's been hinting she wants something black and lacy for her birthday. So, I've got her a pair of football boots!
Growing up with a dyslexic father had its advantages. Whenever he caught me swearing, he used to wash my mouth out with soup.
My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
Anyone got an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's giving off a terrible whining noise.
My wife apologised for the first time ever today. She said she's sorry she ever married me.
01-12-2018, 12:10 AM
989
Re: Jokes for blokes
Originally Posted by Judd
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My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
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