Re: Words say it all

I am sure we can all find fault with our parents actions, but often hard times make us stronger.... it all depends on whether we are going to try and be better, or just sit and complain about it.
My mum used to constantly criticize everything I did, but that made me determined to prove I was much better than she thought. I became independent, self confident and very strong minded but I never held a grudge against mum's criticism. She came to live with me for the last 15 years of her life, because that was where she wanted to be, and I still loved her because she was my mum... but this time I made the house rules!

Re: Words say it all

I had it easy.

Parent's that cared and showed their love on a daily basis....too much really.
a bit spoilt which made growing up(Army)such a huge shock to the system.

There has to be a happy medium but, what is that happy medium?

Hope I've got it right with mine.

No one said parenting was easy but, bloody hell we have a huge responsibility.

Re: Words say it all

My mother is still alive and `does not remember` Well at 92 that is possible.

But then there is also `denial` And a thing from the 50s-Cognitive Dissonance. Mother marries a piece of shit,...would I do that? her brain says.

No of course not-ignore everything that does not fit with why you married him.

Damage in childhood goes very deep. Remember it was only a few months ago mother told me that my driving phobia goes back to that accident I had when driving down the M1 too fast. Where did that come from?? It`s nonsense-she knows I never had an accident. But someone planted it in her mind and she believed him.

Re: Words say it all

If you don't mind me saying OG, that remark sounds more like dementia than her believing someone's lie.

Re: Words say it all

I do not mind at all-it`s happened all through my life. She just chose? to believe his lies even though they were obvious.

Did you know I am a millionaire who made his fortune advising on anorexia when Diana was thought to have had eating problems?

No nor did I until about 6 years ago-A chance meeting on a coach trip with a lady who knew my parents-we did have a laugh

Re: Words say it all

I don't think it's a case of dwelling on bad things, it's that past events programme who you become and how you react.
I was very lucky to have wonderful, loving parents, however I was overly protected, didn't go out to play with the kids in the street only in the safety of the garden etc,. so didn't mix very much, I still suffer with a lack of confidence and find it difficult to walk into social settings. I don't dwell on it, it just made me who I am.

Re: Words say it all

I still think we deal with it in different ways. I spent most of my childhood on my swing in the back garden...... mainly because I preferred adult company and was bored with children. By the time I was in my teens, I discovered that other young people were fun and I soon found it easy to make friends and enjoy time with them, which I did for most of my adult life.
In recent years I have found that I have run out of things to discuss with long term friends, so have lost contact with some. I enjoy discussion on here more, but all these changes are about me and my independence rather than things that happened in my childhood. At the age of 15 I knew what I wanted from life, so just went out and got it.

Re: Words say it all

Nicely put Amber
We are in complete agreement.