06-10-2010, 08:52 PM
1
New Words and Phrases (may well be in the dictionary soon)
TESTICULATINGWaving your arms around and talking Bollocks.
BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, cr*ps on everything, and
then leaves.
ASSMOSIS.
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by
sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
screwed and die.
CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also
applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)
MOUSE POTATO.
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato
SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into
when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with
the kids or start a "home business".
STRESS PUPPY.
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the cr*p out of an electronic device to get it
to work again.
ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and
file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" needless
paperwork and processes.
404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not
Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
OHNOSECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just
made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
New Oxford Dictionary definitions
GOING FOR A McSHIT
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're
just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your
declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a
McShit with Lies.
AEROPLANE BLONDE
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
AUSSIE KISS
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BEER COAT
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise
at 3am in the morning.
BEER COMPASS
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze
cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how
you got here, and where you've come from.
BOBFOC
Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
BREAKING THE SEAL
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
BRITNEY SPEARS
Modern Slang for 'beers', e. g. "Couple of Britneys please"
GREYHOUND
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
JOHNNY-NO-STARS
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who
works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges
displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show
their level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES
The contents of a Wonderbra, i. e. extremely impressive when viewed from
the outside, but there's actually nought in there worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Ho!
Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people
so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake
up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in
your bed instead.
PEARL HARBOUR
Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour"
out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)
PICASSO BUM
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
got four buttocks.
SALAD DODGER
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive woman.
TART FUEL
Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.
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