Family problems could actually make me swear !

My sister has just about done it this time, her social worker has rung to say she's being evicted. Her hoarding has got worse, I can't imagine what that looks like but last time we cleared out for her it was bad enough.

We've got to clear her house or pay council to remove it all.

Then find somewhere for her to live.

No income, no chance she will keep a new place tidy it'll be a dump in days. I can't see it being easy to find anyone will take her.

Social worker has suggested we try a B and B as they won't allow any hoarding at all but apparently that was met with her chucking the lady out so I'm not sure we will get her into one of those without a fight.

Honestly just feel like swearing and walking away but that won't help and only swear word I can think of at the moment is
Crab sticks and I don't even think that's rude !

Anyway I'll wait for my husband to get home and break it gently to him we may have a new visitor staying if we can't find her a home.

I did ask about mental health help as she gets worse when she's depressed but apparently no help there unless she is dried out so depressed and drinking lovely combination for grace to see her granny being. no shouldn't blame her it's an illness she can't help it but it does get harder as we all get older to see her get like this.

Re: Family problems could actually make me swear !

I do understand Julie. It seems that you have been the mainstay of your family and always there to help, but you also need to think about your own well being.
Grace also has her own health problems to deal with and seeing her granny under the influence of alcohol will not help her.
I would seek advice from alcoholics-anonymous, because you may need it if she moves in.
I hope you find a satisfactory solution.

Re: Family problems could actually make me swear !

Yes that's a good idea when Tasha was upset we got her help from alateen I think they called themselves, she went to meetings and was really helped by them. I think it may be possible to get help for families too so I'll look into that.

Re: Family problems could actually make me swear !

Julie, this is a difficult one. I don't know the answer because I don't know the whole problem or the people involved.
I do feel however, that you could be making a mistake in having her live with you. It could well cause a lot of friction in your home life and that is what you can do without when you both come home from work, and especially when you have days you don't feel well yourself.
As you say, there is also Grace to think about.
What ever happened about the adoption idea? If it is still going through, would this difficult and unhappy lady living with you jeopardise anything?
How would you prevent her turning your house into a 'dump' as well? Would it cause endless rows?
On the other hand, do you want a conscience about it if you refuse.

As you say, talk it over with Stephen, he knows what might involved better than me. I do wish you the best if luck coming to the best decision though.

Re: Family problems could actually make me swear !

Adoption is going ahead we are waiting a court date, it's quite difficult to get everyone pinned down at the same time, we had to get a court representative for grace so they could put her point of view on it all to the court. I thought that was really good because that way none of the people involved including us could lead her in her answers she's totally free to say what ever she wants.

Other granny on her dads side fought it which I thought was telling as she had been trying to get grace to meet her dad before the adoption was final.

If should all be signed and sealed in September then her other granny will have to abide by proper rules on visits, not mess about like she does now.


I don't think my sister will come here, really thinking about it she won't manage the stairs and I can't have this flat hoarded we are a bit squashed in as it is.

Re: Family problems could actually make me swear !

Hi

I must admit that I am somewhat as a loss to understand what is going on here and in particular your responsibilities.

If your sister is in a property and is being evicted you have no responsibility provided you have not entered into a legal agreement with the Landlord.

So, if you have not, it is the Landlords responsibility to cleanse the house, not yours, neither do you have any responsibility to pay for it.

I cannot understand why your Social Worker is trying to pass the responsibility for rehousing to you.

Your sister merely reports to the Local Housing Authority as homeless.

Even though she is a single person, they are legally obliged to rehouse her, even in a Hostel, until such time as they have investigated and determined whether or not she is a vulnerable person.

Hoarders are seen as being vulnerable persons due to Mental Health Issues.

Alcoholism is irrelevant initially as they have to determine whether the hoarding is solely due to alcoholism or is due to any underlying Mental Health Issues.

It sounds to me like a huge bit of passing the book is happening here.

In any event, the decision as to whether or not she is to be rehoused is not made by Social Services, it has to be made by the Local Housing Authority

Re: Family problems could actually make me swear !

My thoughts exactly.

If you do take responsibilty then the social workers willwash their hands of her and you will be lumbered.

Re: Family problems could actually make me swear !

I've always taken responsibility for all of them it's hard for me to step back. I had to last time because I was ill when it all came to a head so social services got involved. They have tried several times to pass her back to me, us, because they haven't got funds to help properly.

My mum and dad started all this Julie was one had to look after them all only one didn't drink or take drugs was fairly straight and sober. My addiction is food I guess but I can take care of myself that doesn't make me need any outside help.

I think most families like us with issues have a Julie just with a different name.

We start caring young I was 12 and we are lucky if we can shake off that caring role.

It's why I campaign for Young carers and try my best to make authorities and adults take the caring role away from children.

Re: Family problems could actually make me swear !

The tenant is responsible to leave a property as they found it.
The landlord can use the deposit to pay for repairs, cleaning and removal of rubbish.

Re: Family problems could actually make me swear !

Indeed and that's how it should be.