Re: Let's have a laugh

Every day this month it's been "Daddy, I want a Barbie playhouse, Daddy, I want a My Little Pony, Daddy, I want a Princess Dress!"




God... I hate that boy.

Re: Let's have a laugh

My offspring came running in today, and said “ dad it’s not fair, Jane got her period today, and so did sally, when will I get mine .its the start of adulthood, it’s not fair” ,
I said “ look, Brian....I’ve told you before...

Re: Let's have a laugh

The Miser's Final Wish

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" she had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.
Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.

Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"
"I sure did, " said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a cheque'

Re: Let's have a laugh

Accept it. It's becoming trendy!
And be careful what you say. You can be accused of genderism, or something.

Re: Let's have a laugh

JIM AND MARY ::

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.
Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because, since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses.

The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead." Mary replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."

Re: Let's have a laugh

I was out for a walk in the country.

Suddenly a herd of cows came stampeding towards me.

I dodged and ducked and finally they passed me.

I was safe at last.

I had a close encounter of the herd kind.

Re: Let's have a laugh

Lol!!!

Re: Let's have a laugh

Then there was the constipated mathematician.
He worked out with pencil and paper........

Re: Let's have a laugh

During a lull between the speeches at the recent presidential
swearing-in ceremony, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with the
Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson.

"You know, I bought Donald a parrot for Christmas. That bird is so
smart, Donald has already taught him to pronounce over two hundred
words!"

"Wow, that's pretty impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do realize
that he just speaks the words, ...he doesn't really
understand what they mean."

"Oh, I know," Melania replied, "Neither does the parrot."

Re: Let's have a laugh