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20-05-2019, 11:12 PM
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Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Longdogs ->
Two Irishman, Mick and Paddy were walking home from the pub after drinking late night. Mick says to Paddy, “I can’t be bothered to walk all that way.” “I know,” says Paddy, “but we’ve no money for a cab and we’ve missed the last bus home.” “We could steal a bus from the depot,” Mick suggests. They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells Paddy to go in and get a bus while he keeps a look-out… After shuffling around for ages, Mick shouts, “Paddy, what are you doing? Have you not found one yet?” Paddy shouts back, “I can’t find a No. 91”
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21-05-2019, 12:18 AM
1092

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Longdogs ->
Two Irishman, Mick and Paddy were walking home from the pub after drinking late night. Mick says to Paddy, “I can’t be bothered to walk all that way.” “I know,” says Paddy, “but we’ve no money for a cab and we’ve missed the last bus home.” “We could steal a bus from the depot,” Mick suggests. They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells Paddy to go in and get a bus while he keeps a look-out… After shuffling around for ages, Mick shouts, “Paddy, what are you doing? Have you not found one yet?” Paddy shouts back, “I can’t find a No. 91”
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21-05-2019, 10:00 PM
1093

Re: Jokes for blokes

Whilst out shopping my wife presented with a handbag and asked my opinion. "What do you think of that?"
"Lovely It will match your outfit" I answered.
"What outfit do you mean?" She then asked.
"The outfit that you are now going to buy to match the new handbag"
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21-05-2019, 11:25 PM
1094

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Judd ->
Whilst out shopping my wife presented with a handbag and asked my opinion. "What do you think of that?"
"Lovely It will match your outfit" I answered.
"What outfit do you mean?" She then asked.
"The outfit that you are now going to buy to match the new handbag"
Brilliant, and so true!
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24-05-2019, 04:12 PM
1095

Re: Jokes for blokes

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31-05-2019, 07:03 PM
1096

Re: Jokes for blokes

The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.”
He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?” I said, “No, she’s an optician.”
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01-06-2019, 06:02 PM
1097

Re: Jokes for blokes

A woman goes into a police station and reports that a man has exposed himself to her.
The officer asked what happened, she explained "I was going to the shops when a car pulled over and a man beckoned me over to his window, he asked me for directions to the nearest post office, as I spoke He started grinning then I saw he had his bloody thing in his hand"

The officer could see the the woman was in some distress, he said gently "sorry I need to ask you, was he in a state of arousal?" She sobbed " no I think it was a Ford focus.
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01-06-2019, 10:38 PM
1098

Re: Jokes for blokes

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02-06-2019, 02:51 PM
1099

Re: Jokes for blokes

The wife phoned me, she's just filled the car up with petrol for the first time.

She said she can't get back in the car and it cost £4,500.
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02-06-2019, 09:12 PM
1100

Re: Jokes for blokes

Good bit of advice!

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