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10-05-2019, 06:17 PM
511

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Judd ->
I visited my local Chinese restaurant last night and asked for the specials.

They gave me too much foo yung
Brill.
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11-05-2019, 11:32 AM
512

Re: Let's have a laugh

Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about 3
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose
Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No
Man: Where’s your Ferrari?
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Richmond
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11-05-2019, 11:33 AM
513

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Primus1 ->
My wife wants me to have sex with her on the bonnet of her Honda Civic,
But if I’m going to have sex like that, it’ll be on my own accord....
Very creative LOL!!!
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11-05-2019, 11:45 AM
514

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about 3
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose
Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No
Man: Where’s your Ferrari?
I know that woman. She smokes and drives a Mini.



Bruce comes home from the pub and sees Sheila watching Gordon Ramsay's F%*#ing cooking show on the telly.
Bruce says; "What are you watching that shit for? You can't cook to save your life!."
To which Sheila replies; "So what? You watch porn movies, don’t you?"
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Hampshire, UK
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12-05-2019, 06:16 PM
515

Re: Let's have a laugh

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12-05-2019, 08:49 PM
516

Re: Let's have a laugh

Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!


A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The First worm in alcohol . . . . . . Dead.

The Second worm in cigarette smoke . . Dead!




Third worm in chocolate syrup . . .Dead!.




Fourth worm in good clean soil . ... Alive?!

So the Minister asked the congregation;


"So, my friends? What did you learn from this demonstration?"





Maxine, sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said . . .

"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"


That pretty much ended the service!
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12-05-2019, 09:46 PM
517

Re: Let's have a laugh

Good answer
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12-05-2019, 09:47 PM
518

Re: Let's have a laugh

I got myself a few body piercings last week.

I visited London.
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12-05-2019, 09:52 PM
519

Re: Let's have a laugh

Blind man to his old wife:

"Are you wearing flip flops?"

"No," she replied, "I'm not wearing my bra."
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Penthouse in Essex overlooking the Thames.
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12-05-2019, 11:11 PM
520

Re: Let's have a laugh



A couple of nice ones there Judd especially that last one about the flip flops,made me laugh.

I guess when a woman gets to that certain age eh.
Thank god our lass use's hammocks..
 
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