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21-05-2019, 11:35 PM
11

Re: What would you do in this situation

Queenie, you are hurting, understandably. I would be too if someone who I thought of as a friend, did that to me.

Like Meg said, I am at a loss to understand how this woman left her phone off the hook twice - to the same person as well?

You said she was at her cousins house, so I assume it was her cousin's landline you rang, rather than your friend's mobile?
Sorry, but still trying to figure out how she could have done this twice.

I know if it was me it happened to, I'd have been very hurt, but annoyed also.
To hear deceipt by a friend would kill my trust, so I wouldn't see the point of trying to continue a friendship feeling like that. If trust is gone, it wouldn't be the same to me anymore.

I know it's easy to say, but try to rise above it, because you are the better person and have done nothing wrong.
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21-05-2019, 11:46 PM
12

Re: What would you do in this situation

Originally Posted by Artangel ->
LQ, Why do you bother with this person? Talk about a two faced backstabber!
If you heard her say that, what else is she saying when you’re not listening.

Did you record the call? If not, you have a great memory!


Arty, my memory is atrocious but for some reason I can remember this call with about every word, AMAZING.
xx
Psmith
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22-05-2019, 03:37 AM
13

Re: What would you do in this situation

I thought all women did that sort of thing,doesn't stop them from being friends.No one wants to be the first to leave the group .Was she there for you at the important times though?
eccles
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22-05-2019, 07:02 AM
14

Re: What would you do in this situation

I think you know what you need to do. Are you really so desperate to keep this person in your life? Cut her out like the poisonous hypocrite she is. Block her phone number first though.
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22-05-2019, 07:20 AM
15

Re: What would you do in this situation

Originally Posted by Mups ->
Queenie, you are hurting, understandably. I would be too if someone who I thought of as a friend, did that to me.

Like Meg said, I am at a loss to understand how this woman left her phone off the hook twice - to the same person as well?

You said she was at her cousins house, so I assume it was her cousin's landline you rang, rather than your friend's mobile?
Sorry, but still trying to figure out how she could have done this twice.

I know if it was me it happened to, I'd have been very hurt, but annoyed also.
To hear deceipt by a friend would kill my trust, so I wouldn't see the point of trying to continue a friendship feeling like that. If trust is gone, it wouldn't be the same to me anymore.

I know it's easy to say, but try to rise above it, because you are the better person and have done nothing wrong.
I had rang her mobile. She simply didn't click end call, i.m assuming she must have put her phone down on.a table or somewhere then continued talking to her cousin. I didn't end the call at my end either till I had heard enough.

I.ve not responded to her apology yet and don't know if I will. I do know things can never be the same. I.m not quite sure why she would want to be friends with a pathetic hypochondriac! It's the word pathetic, which she said twice and the fact she brought my dead sister into it that really got to me.

I.ve been a good friend to that woman, I brought her along on 2 holidays abroad with my husband and I because I wanted her to have a holiday, she had no one else to go with. I ve driven her many places as she doesn't drive, i.ve accompanied to hospital at the other side of Leeds, even booking days off work so she wouldn't be going alone, I've held surprise parties for her past birthdays and i.ve brought her in in my other circles of friends inviting her along for nights out with us etc. All I expect in return was loyalty.

Just shows, you think you know someone but you never really know them at all.
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22-05-2019, 07:25 AM
16

Re: What would you do in this situation

Everyone can give you advice,

But only you can decide on how to deal with it.

Good luck.
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22-05-2019, 07:29 AM
17

Re: What would you do in this situation

Hi LQ....I'm sure it was hurtful to hear your pal say those things...and it seems she is now hurt too and ashamed of herself ...Rightly so.

It's a shame your relationship will never be the same again what has been said no matter how much she apologises cannot be undone so in that sense for sure no matter how much you both might try you have lost a close old friend....

I would take a break from her but not in a nasty way....just cool it and if she tries to make amends go with the flow....as I said though your relationship will never be the same again.
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22-05-2019, 07:35 AM
18

Re: What would you do in this situation

Originally Posted by summer ->
Hi LQ....I'm sure it was hurtful to hear your pal say those things...and it seems she is now hurt too and ashamed of herself ...Rightly so.

It's a shame your relationship will never be the same again what has been said no matter how much she apologises cannot be undone so in that sense for sure no matter how much you both might try you have lost a close old friend....

I would take a break from her but not in a nasty way....just cool it and if she tries to make amends go with the flow....as I said though your relationship will never be the same again.
Thanks summer, I m going to gather my thoughts over the next few days when I m feeling calmer and then make my decision. Right now I don't want to talk to her or hear her excuses, not sure what they would be tho.
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22-05-2019, 07:52 AM
19

Re: What would you do in this situation

Originally Posted by pauline3 ->
Everyone can give you advice,

But only you can decide on how to deal with it.

Good luck.
I would agree with Pauline on this, because you seem to have been friends for a while, so only you know if you would miss her.
I frequently tell friends that my sister doesn't pull her weight & often uses illness as an excuse.... but I say the same thing to my sister so I am not being two faced.

I am sure we all have friends who say things about us when we are not there, no matter how much we would like to think they are loyal friends. In your position I would decide to accept her apology but tell her how much it upset you or, if you decided you can no longer trust her, explain that she has ruined the trust you had in her, because you thought she was a true friend.
Either way she will be embarrassed!
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The Artful Todger
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22-05-2019, 08:40 AM
20

Re: What would you do in this situation

Nothing. Just delete her number. For as long as a person remains annoyed or hurt by someone then they have an influence in one's life.

Obviously if money or property was involved it's a different matter but otherwise just think sod 'em and move on.
 
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