Join for free
Reply
Page 29 of 54 « First < 19 27 28 29 30 31 39 > Last »
Richmond's Avatar
Richmond
Senior Member
Richmond is offline
United Kingdom
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 658
Richmond is female  Richmond has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
14-03-2019, 09:32 PM
281

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by JBR ->
Absolutely brilliant!

Nicked for personal use, though I'll have to be careful where!
Glad you enjoyed it JBR -- share the joy!!
Reply With Quote
Mr Ploppy's Avatar
Mr Ploppy
Chatterbox
Mr Ploppy is offline
Perth Western Australia, 3rd house on the right
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 8,650
Mr Ploppy is male  Mr Ploppy has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-03-2019, 07:36 AM
282

Re: Let's have a laugh

Weird Science
These are from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world. It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.
"When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water"
"When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"
"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."
"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects."
"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."
"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."
"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspeds, two molars, and eight
cuspidors."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
"Equator: An imaginary lion running around the Earth through Africa."
"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
"Liter: A nest of young puppies."
"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."
"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."
"To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."
"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."
"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."
Reply With Quote
summer's Avatar
summer
Chatterbox
summer is offline
yorkshire
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 6,383
summer is female  summer has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-03-2019, 07:48 AM
283

Re: Let's have a laugh

Very funny Plopps....Rhubarb a kind of celery gone bloodshot love it....oh and oxygen is pure gin hydrogin is gin with water
Reply With Quote
JBR's Avatar
JBR
Chatterbox
JBR is offline
Cheshire, UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 21,601
JBR is male  JBR has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-03-2019, 11:57 AM
284

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy ->
Weird Science
Highly amusing, though there is an element of logic in there:

"When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."
Reply With Quote
Primus1's Avatar
Primus1
Senior Member
Primus1 is offline
York
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 2,702
Primus1 is male  Primus1 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-03-2019, 07:55 PM
285

Re: Let's have a laugh

What do you have if you are holding two little green balls in your hand?......Kermits undivided attention...
Reply With Quote
OldFogey's Avatar
OldFogey
Senior Member
OldFogey is offline
NW UK
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 611
OldFogey is male 
 
15-03-2019, 09:56 PM
286

Re: Let's have a laugh

If you want a laugh, just read some of the comments on the Brexit threads on this forum..

People's crass ignorance of the British constitution is hilarious & a proper giggle.
Reply With Quote
Longdogs's Avatar
Longdogs
Chatterbox
Longdogs is offline
England
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 28,790
Longdogs is male  Longdogs has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-03-2019, 11:51 PM
287

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by OldFogey ->
If you want a laugh, just read some of the comments on the Brexit threads on this forum..

People's crass ignorance of the British constitution is hilarious & a proper giggle.
Or for continuous hilarity, read the Labour Manifesto.
Reply With Quote
Judd's Avatar
Judd
Chatterbox
Judd is offline
West Riding of Yorkshire
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 8,130
Judd is male  Judd has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
16-03-2019, 01:07 AM
288

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by OldFogey ->
If you want a laugh, just read some of the comments on the Brexit threads on this forum..

People's crass ignorance of the British constitution is hilarious & a proper giggle.
How do you keep an unfunny idiot in suspense?







I'll tell you tomorrow.
Reply With Quote
OldFogey's Avatar
OldFogey
Senior Member
OldFogey is offline
NW UK
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 611
OldFogey is male 
 
16-03-2019, 10:39 AM
289

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Judd ->
How do you keep an unfunny idiot in suspense?







I'll tell you tomorrow.
See what I mean.

Hilarious!
Reply With Quote
Mr Ploppy's Avatar
Mr Ploppy
Chatterbox
Mr Ploppy is offline
Perth Western Australia, 3rd house on the right
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 8,650
Mr Ploppy is male  Mr Ploppy has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
16-03-2019, 10:54 AM
290

Re: Let's have a laugh

A man fell overboard from his little sailboat, and was thrashing around in the water when another boat pulled up.
"Jump in, we'll save you," the people in the boat screamed.*
"No," cried the drowning man, "God will save me."*
The scene was repeated twice more and then a helicopter hovered over the man.*
"We came to rescue you," yelled the pilot.*
"No, God will save me," was the response again.*
The man drowned, and as he crossed the Pearly Gates, he ran straight towards Jesus.*
"I placed my faith in You, and You let me drown!”
""Hey!" said Jesus. "I sent three boats and a helicopter."
Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 29 of 54 « First < 19 27 28 29 30 31 39 > Last »

Thread Tools


© Copyright 2009, Over50sForum   Contact Us | Over 50s Forum! | Archive | Privacy Statement | Terms of Use | Top

Powered by vBulletin Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.