03-08-2020, 05:09 PM
1693
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by JBR
->
An extract from a card my lovely wife gave to me.To be perfectly honest, it does bear an element of truth.
04-08-2020, 03:22 PM
1694
Re: Let's have a laugh
Remember to turn the volume up.
https://twitter.com/RenownVet/status...89560648765442
04-08-2020, 08:08 PM
1695
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Judd
->
Remember to turn the volume up. https://twitter.com/RenownVet/status...89560648765442
A Dutch Oven! Yes, I've done that...
just for a laugh, of course.
07-08-2020, 01:51 PM
1696
Re: Let's have a laugh
An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
A question mark walks into a bar?
A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out—we don’t serve your type.”
A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
07-08-2020, 02:33 PM
1697
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Arena
->
An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
A question mark walks into a bar?
A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out—we don’t serve your type.”
A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
11-08-2020, 01:02 PM
1700
Re: Let's have a laugh
A Catholic priest, Baptist preacher, and a Jewish rabbi were having coffee together. Someone made the comment that preaching to people is easy; a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided each to find a bear and try preaching to it.A week later they met again to discuss the results.
Father Flynn had his arm in a sling and various bandages about his body but said "Well, I found a bear and began to read to him from the Catechism. The bear came after me and started to slap me around. I quickly grabbed my bottle of holy water and sprinkled it on him and, Holy Mother of God, the bear became as gentle as a lamb'.
Reverend Bill spoke next. He was in a wheelchair and had an IV drip. 'Well, I also found a bear and began to read to it from the Bible, but the bear came after me. We wrestled down the hill until we came to a creek, so I quickly dunked the bear and baptised him. And, just like you said, it became as gentle as a lamb'.
The priest and the preacher both looked down at the rabbi who was in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction, with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. The rabbi looked up and said 'Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.'
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