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carol
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Derbyshire.
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26-07-2020, 12:18 PM
11

Re: Advice

Usually I can phone my son directly. It was just this one time at the caravan site.

It was almost as though she didn't want us to find them or at least wanted to cause me some aggravation. It's not very nice really as my hubby has Alzheimers and he was worried to see me getting agitated when I couldn't contact them.

They invited us to visit them or we wouldn't have gone.

I don't know what/if anything I've done to upset her. She appears outwardly friendly. Do you think I should ask her?
monkeypuzzle
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26-07-2020, 12:22 PM
12

Re: Advice

Originally Posted by carol ->
Usually I can phone my son directly. It was just this one time at the caravan site.

It was almost as though she didn't want us to find them or at least wanted to cause me some aggravation. It's not very nice really as my hubby has Alzheimers and he was worried to see me getting agitated when I couldn't contact them.

They invited us to visit them or we wouldn't have gone.

I don't know what/if anything I've done to upset her. She appears outwardly friendly. Do you think I should ask her?
I think you should ask her what you have done to offend her, if indeed you have. However, I wonder if it is is down to your son, and he is happy for his wife to take the blame? Either way I think you should question them both.
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26-07-2020, 12:23 PM
13

Re: Advice

Sorry Carole, I misread your post, I thought every call from you went straight to your DIL.

I wouldn't make a big issue of it as that could make the relationship between the two of you worse. If it happened again in the future though, I think I would question it in a friendly manner.
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26-07-2020, 12:29 PM
14

Re: Advice

I would definitely mention to her that your husband got upset when you couldn’t get through to your son and ask if she’d accidentally put the phone on caller divert .

The ball’s in her court then ?
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26-07-2020, 12:37 PM
15

Re: Advice

Are both your son and his wife OK, or are there 'problems' with them, either individually or together? That seems a very serious thing to do even if there is some genuine reason, in her mind, why your daughter-in-law should do that. To cause one hell of a row if you said anything might not be worth it if it's something temporary and your son does realise this has been done. If he doesn't realise then I would think he would contact you to see if you are OK. Even if you cannot call him as calls are being diverted I think you may find that text messages from you to him would not be diverted, that's a separate option on an iPhone, so could be used in an emergency.

I've had similar problems, not quite the same but difficulties in making contact for whatever reason and they have passed but to this day I don't know why and it's just not worth trying to find out. I can fully understand you being anxious about this, I was the same and as I live on my own it was very difficult. However, knowing that I can be independent and if there was a problem when I needed to contact close family for help there are ways. As sad as it was it was not the best of situations but out of my control so I just got on with my life. Things today are nothing like they used to be when families were close, there is often so much going on in their lives and if they are inconsiderate (selfish) in that way then often that comes first.
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26-07-2020, 12:42 PM
16

Re: Advice

Originally Posted by carol ->
Usually I can phone my son directly. It was just this one time at the caravan site.

It was almost as though she didn't want us to find them or at least wanted to cause me some aggravation. It's not very nice really as my hubby has Alzheimers and he was worried to see me getting agitated when I couldn't contact them.

They invited us to visit them or we wouldn't have gone.

I don't know what/if anything I've done to upset her. She appears outwardly friendly. Do you think I should ask her?


As an outsider, and not knowing your family Carol, I find this difficult to say what to do, as it depends on things which I don't know.

Is there normally friction (or undercurrents) between you and your DIL, or do you love her like a daughter?
If you are normally a close family, it doesn't make sense why she would do this.

On the other hand, there could be more to this than you want to know.
Please don't take offense, but would she have reason to check his phone? Could she have attempted to block a caller?
Be careful what you might unearth.

Lastly, maybe it was a genuine mistake and she just pressed a wrong button?

The only way you will ever know is to ask, but I would not do it in a confrontational way or you could make matters far worse.

I think I would probably just say to my son - "Wassup with your phone, I couldn't get through to you yesterday, it kept diverting?"

He may or may not know the answer, but at least he could find out.

Anyway, I would not be devious, I would just ask outright. If my son's lady love started taking all his calls I would think it very odd indeed.

Out of interest, did you leave a message or speak to her when you rang? Did you ask how come you had got through to her when you had dialled him?
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carol
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26-07-2020, 01:32 PM
17

Re: Advice

I don't want to get into any deeper questioning on here. It's only trivial really.

Basically I just wanted to know if members on here would tackle her about what she did.

This is all that has been said between us about it. maybe I'll leave it at that.

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26-07-2020, 01:37 PM
18

Re: Advice

Yes I agree with what Mups has suggested. However I would go a wee but further and when I asked my son about it, I would be looking straight at her with a knowing expression on my face. If it's denied then you could say, that you were talking to someone online who was upset because it had happened to them, and you would be very hurt and upset if you thought it had been done to yourself....on purpose.
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26-07-2020, 01:50 PM
19

Re: Advice

I would say to one or both of them '' I think I have done something silly with my phone, I can't get through to Andy can one of you look at it for me please ''
TessA
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26-07-2020, 02:21 PM
20

Re: Advice

Tell them you won the lottery and wanted to share it with them, but as you couldn't contact them you spent it!
 
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