05-08-2020, 10:18 PM
1
Flirting - right or wrong
I always there was nothing wrong with the occasional bout of flirting coupled with gentle banter in the office. There could be an issue with professional boundaries here but it depends much on your boss. My stance has changed because I inadvertently caused a female work colleague some upset. It started because I wanted to help her with her personal divorce problems, only be a shoulder to cry on and be a good listener. Other people in the office noticed we were spending a lot of time together and mischievously convinced her that I was open to a relationship. despite knowing I was married albeit at the time having problems myself. When I explained to her what my feelings actually were she orchestrated a move to another office. This was a number of years ago, but I still beat myself up at times.
05-08-2020, 10:28 PM
3
Re: Flirting - right or wrong
Originally Posted by David P
->
I always there was nothing wrong with the occasional bout of flirting coupled with gentle banter in the office. There could be an issue with professional boundaries here but it depends much on your boss. My stance has changed because I inadvertently caused a female work colleague some upset. It started because I wanted to help her with her personal divorce problems, only be a shoulder to cry on and be a good listener. Other people in the office noticed we were spending a lot of time together and mischievously convinced her that I was open to a relationship. despite knowing I was married albeit at the time having problems myself. When I explained to her what my feelings actually were she orchestrated a move to another office. This was a number of years ago, but I still beat myself up at times.
Didn't quite understand the hi-lighted bit David.
Why was she upset?
May I ask what your feelings actually were?
No matter if it's too personal, just trying to understand your post.
05-08-2020, 10:31 PM
4
Re: Flirting - right or wrong
Originally Posted by spitfire
->
Folks who flirt before vows, fair play, folks who flirt after vows are Tosspots, no quarter here, FWIW.
06-08-2020, 07:21 AM
9
Re: Flirting - right or wrong
I think flirting means different things to women than it does to men.Eg... If a lady says "can I have one of those" and a man replies "I'll give you one!" I view it as a joke and would probably reply & "Thanks, but no thanks" & laugh!
On the other hand, if a man was being too complimentary about how I looked or saying how he felt about me I think I would view it as unwanted attention and try to escape!
06-08-2020, 07:52 AM
10
Re: Flirting - right or wrong
With respect David, you can either offer a shoulder to lean on - 1.e. indicate that you are willing to offer support as a friend, or you can just take your chances and flirt. Not both. The former is a signal that you can be trusted with somebody's feelings the latter is just game playing that may or may not be appropriate or wanted. To flirt after you have offered friendship is confusing and doesn't inspire trust. I suspect that's why she backed off. I'm 68 and I had a long professional career and even when I was young, I never risked flirting with anybody unless I liked them and they started it first..and I was single. These days all I can say is that I'm glad I am retired.| Thread Tools | |
|
|
