07-06-2019, 09:39 AM
592
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Judd
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Two mates were looking at the new tellies on display in a shop window. One turns to the other and says "That's the one I'd get"Just then, a bloke with a glass eye who was walking passed punched him in the face.
But I've learned why we use glass for artificial eyes.
So that the person wearing it can see through it.
07-06-2019, 02:33 PM
593
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy
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I don't get that one. What am I missing?But I've learned why we use glass for artificial eyes.
So that the person wearing it can see through it.
08-06-2019, 01:54 PM
596
Re: Let's have a laugh
A burglar breaks into a house in the middle of the night. It is pitch dark but he hears a voice "Jesus is watching you" He looks around but sees nothing Again the voice "Jesus is watching you" He puts on his torch and see a parrot sitting on a perch "Whas that you speaking?" "Yes" the parrot said "And jesus is watching you""Is your name Jesus?" asks the burglar. "No" the parrot said "I am Moses".
The burglar laughed "What idiot would call a parrot Moses" he asked "The parrot replied "The same idiot that named the Rottweiller Jesus".
09-06-2019, 12:15 AM
597
Re: Let's have a laugh
Three priests were at a train station and headed for Pittsburgh. The ticket seller was a bosomy young lady wearing a very low-cut blouse.The first priest approached the counter and said, "Three tickets to Titsburgh, please'. Realizing his gaffe, he was mortified and retreated to the group with the transaction unfinished.
The second approached to finish the purchase and said, "Three tickets to Pittsburgh, please. And I want the change in nipples and dimes". He too was embarrassed and retreated.
The task fell to the third priest who confidently approached the window and said, "Three tickets to Pittsburgh, please. And I want the change in nickels and dimes. And, young lady, if you don't start dressing more decorously, when you reach the Pearly Gates, Saint Finger is going to shake his peter at you."
09-06-2019, 12:17 AM
598
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by big ben
->
A burglar breaks into a house in the middle of the night. It is pitch dark but he hears a voice "Jesus is watching you" He looks around but sees nothing Again the voice "Jesus is watching you" He puts on his torch and see a parrot sitting on a perch "Whas that you speaking?" "Yes" the parrot said "And jesus is watching you" "Is your name Jesus?" asks the burglar. "No" the parrot said "I am Moses".
The burglar laughed "What idiot would call a parrot Moses" he asked "The parrot replied "The same idiot that named the Rottweiller Jesus".
09-06-2019, 10:33 AM
599
Re: Let's have a laugh
Three priests were at a train station and headed for Pittsburgh. The ticket seller was a bosomy young lady wearing a very low-cut blouse.The first priest approached the counter and said, "Three tickets to Titsburgh, please'. Realizing his gaffe, he was mortified and retreated to the group with the transaction unfinished.
The second approached to finish the purchase and said, "Three tickets to Pittsburgh, please. And I want the change in nipples and dimes". He too was embarrassed and retreated.
The task fell to the third priest who confidently approached the window and said, "Three tickets to Pittsburgh, please. And I want the change in nickels and dimes. And, young lady, if you don't start dressing more decorously, when you reach the Pearly Gates, Saint Finger is going to shake his peter at you."
09-06-2019, 11:18 AM
600
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Richmond
->
Three priests were at a train station and headed for Pittsburgh. The ticket seller was a bosomy young lady wearing a very low-cut blouse.The first priest approached the counter and said, "Three tickets to Titsburgh, please'. Realizing his gaffe, he was mortified and retreated to the group with the transaction unfinished.
The second approached to finish the purchase and said, "Three tickets to Pittsburgh, please. And I want the change in nipples and dimes". He too was embarrassed and retreated.
The task fell to the third priest who confidently approached the window and said, "Three tickets to Pittsburgh, please. And I want the change in nickels and dimes. And, young lady, if you don't start dressing more decorously, when you reach the Pearly Gates, Saint Finger is going to shake his peter at you."
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