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12-05-2019, 11:22 PM
521

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!


A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The First worm in alcohol . . . . . . Dead.

The Second worm in cigarette smoke . . Dead!




Third worm in chocolate syrup . . .Dead!.




Fourth worm in good clean soil . ... Alive?!

So the Minister asked the congregation;


"So, my friends? What did you learn from this demonstration?"





Maxine, sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said . . .

"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"


That pretty much ended the service!
Brilliant! Good for her!
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13-05-2019, 06:53 PM
522

Re: Let's have a laugh

I'm not using my faulty bathroom scales again.

I’ve seen the error of my weighs.
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13-05-2019, 08:46 PM
523

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Judd ->
I'm not using my faulty bathroom scales again.

I’ve seen the error of my weighs.
Nice play on words LOL!
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14-05-2019, 10:20 AM
524

Re: Let's have a laugh

I've made myself a belt from a collection of old wrist watches.
I call it a waist of time.
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14-05-2019, 07:45 PM
525

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy ->
I've made myself a belt from a collection of old wrist watches.
I call it a waist of time.
Very creative project -- and play on words!!!
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15-05-2019, 01:34 PM
526

Re: Let's have a laugh

Anyone watching GoT? Quick summary of the last two weeks.

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15-05-2019, 04:57 PM
527

Re: Let's have a laugh

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15-05-2019, 05:05 PM
528

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
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18-05-2019, 04:50 PM
529

Re: Let's have a laugh

A 79-year-old man is having a drink in a bar. Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her. After a short while, the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.



Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone: "I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want $100, and there's another condition."


Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is. "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."


The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman. He whips out his wallet and puts $100 dollars in her hand ---He then looks her square in the eyes, & says slowly and clearly: "Paint - my - house."


(Our needs change as we get older, and we tend to look for bargains.......)
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20-05-2019, 05:25 PM
530

Re: Let's have a laugh

The guy who invented predictive text passed away yesterday.
His funfair will be next monkey ��
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