I had an idea you’d remember it Mags, you were very helpful in finding some old recordings for me when I started here. I don’t forget that, and I thank you.
Yer woman’s feet?
How could one help but notice Spitty, the chap who marries her will have to accept defeat because they come with de legs.
Swings and roundabouts, at the start of this coronavirus disaster it was the first wave, then a lockdown, followed by a curve and then a swing, next a second wave followed by different bubbles, and now we’re all in tiers, and who would blame us.
Oh stop press!, I’ve just heard the latest one on the news, it’s “circuit breakers”, my oh my, what will they come up with next?
How about ‘slices’, they could slice off one infected section of the community and isolate it, then if that works slice off another section until the whole national ‘cake’ is infected then all will be immune, don’t let anyone in or out of the country for six months and everything will be tickity boo.
Well it couldn’t be any worse that’s for sure, experts me arse.
Seriously though, the mental strain is almost at breaking point with many young and old people I know.
We had two nephews and their lovely French friend over last Sunday afternoon (observing the distance rule of course).
Philip, his brother Harry, and the lovely Monick, fine classical musicians and all outstanding in our back garden, except the lovely Monick who was outsitting, one cannot play the cello whilst outstanding.
Phil is a flautist, we call him Phil the fluter. Harry is a violinist, we just call him Har, while Monick plays the cello as I’ve already mentioned.
The neighbours were delighted as the air was filled with beautiful Phil Har Monick music. sigh.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you in all her glory!
The Lovely Monick and her Mellow Cello!!!
Where would we be without the binary two figure system, 50 years behind times I suppose.
I have always had a wild theory that everything involved in the whole shebang of creation is based on “two’s”
Everything is a series of “in’s” and “out’s” and “opposites”, energy goes in and then passes out again in another form and then travels on, but it never dies and energy is life, once we come into the world we have to go back out again, that’s guaranteed, but in what form does the mind depart the body?, a hiss of gas? puff of smoke, a nasal droplet?, who knows, but it’s gone somewhere that’s for sure.
Then you have male and female, good and evil, up and down, dark and light, etc., two of everything,
If you take the human body, we have two eyes, ears, legs, hands, feet, lungs, nostrils, breasts, two sides to the most important part of the body, the brain.
There was Noah and the animals two by two into the great arc, when he had them all in he says to God “Now I’ve herd everything”
After the waters receded, Noah commanded all the animals to "Go forth and multiply!"
The ark quickly emptied, except for two small snakes, who stayed behind.
When Noah asked them why, they replied, "We can't multiply, we're adders.
Not to mention Moses with his two stone tablets, ideal for grinding headaches.
Based on the binary code system, my theory is that if there is a place for the living (earth) then there must be a place for the souls, or minds of the dead, both are separated at death, we know where the remains go, but what happens to the other bit? the mind, that was responsible for all the actions of the body.
Is it not reasonable to assume, and seeing that there is no one on this earth who knows what happens to the “self” of a dead person, that there is another place for them?
Don’t mind me, I wasn’t thinking outside the box, that’s strictly for the scientists and some old men to say when they try to be trendy, I was just thinking outside the logic.
“You know when an atheist is getting really old, they get confused with all the contractionary scientific explanations and begin to wonder did the universe really just happen at random… then they start spelling God with a capital “G” (Ikdam O’Dea)
Yes who can forget the writings of old Ikdam.
The thing about living in the same area all your life is you get to see a lot of your old school mates everyday, well I used to when the pubs were open.
Most of mine turned out just as I expected they would, the real bright ones went into business, the not so bright all turned out to be good hard workers, two of the toughies became coppers, you had to at least 5’11” and well built to be a copper back then, and one real lazy boy went into politics.
I used to have a pint with some of those who are still living and we would talk about the teachers we had and how packed the classrooms were then, the subject doesn't come up often now because we all had one thing in common, we all hated school.
Irish primary schools in the 50’s were not for sissys, with 50 kids to a class and a few sadistic masters, primary school was something you survived not enjoyed and after the shock of it all very few went on to further education, most left it all behind when they reached 14, the legal age to quit school.
A new university campus has recently been built just a few minutes walk from where I live, all the houses here have jumped up in value since it opened, greedy landlord house grabbers were wise to this for a long time, even before the first brick was laid, and all available houses in the area were snapped up to be rented out at 2,000 euros a month and often more, out and out robbery, I detest this selfish practice as it means young couples don’t stand a chance of getting a house, we need more young families here.
These small houses here were built in the early 1930’s and I see on our deeds this house cost 310 pounds, today it would fetch 400,000 euros no problem, probably more with the large side garden.
I remember that old saying about spongers “He’s like a pair of dirty knickers, always on the bum”
Why am I on about bums you may well ask.
Well that everlasting question by women “Does my bum look big in this” came up again in my house today, the daughter had bought a new dress and was showing it off to the wife.
I slithered out the back door and into the shed knowing I was about to be asked the question next.
Ode To A Low Down Bum. by Jem.
She turned me down cos I’m a low down skunk
Now she’s gonna marry a filthy rich hunk
And live in a mansion without any junk
While I lie broken hearted on my hard wooden bunk.
Nobody loves a low down punk
He’s all washed up and his ship has sunk
No more kisses and no more romances
He’s busted and lost all his loving chances.
She turned me down cos I drank too much
Said she never seen me sober as such
She’s tired of always going Dutch
So she opened the door and gave me the push.
She turned me down cos I got too fat
She could never put up with that
Just because she’s as skinny as a lath
She only liked me when my belly was flat.
She turned me down cos I developed a stoop
Said I looked like a fat hula hoop
I didn’t fit in with her elite group
Now she’s gone and left me in the soup.
She turned me down but I’ve just met another
She’s fat and drinks like a sailor’s brother
Looks after me like a loving mother
And now I love her like no other.
There’s no spanner that can adjust a low down bum.
I suppose it’s true what they say “As God makes them he matches them”