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effingpot
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02-05-2020, 01:26 PM
1241

Re: Jokes for blokes

Genius, anyone need one?

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16-05-2020, 01:28 PM
1242

Re: Jokes for blokes

When the mother-in-law came down with symptoms last week we all feared the worst. Well today our worst fears became reality and the family is going through a tough patch with the news.

She made a full recovery.
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16-05-2020, 02:09 PM
1243

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Judd ->
When the mother-in-law came down with symptoms last week we all feared the worst. Well today our worst fears became reality and the family is going through a tough patch with the news.

She made a full recovery.
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09-06-2020, 02:13 AM
1244

Re: Jokes for blokes

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
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09-06-2020, 11:14 AM
1245

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Swannie148 ->
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”


Very true...
except for the last bit.
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09-06-2020, 02:18 PM
1246

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by effingpot ->
Genius, anyone need one?

Hilarious!
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09-06-2020, 02:19 PM
1247

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Judd ->
When the mother-in-law came down with symptoms last week we all feared the worst. Well today our worst fears became reality and the family is going through a tough patch with the news.

She made a full recovery.
Brilliant!
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09-06-2020, 05:56 PM
1248

Re: Jokes for blokes

He named the street he built after his wife. It was very apt, as she was cold, hard, cracked and only got ploughed around Christmas.
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10-06-2020, 11:34 AM
1249

Re: Jokes for blokes

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, "You aren't so good in bed either!" then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. "What took you so long to answer?" he asked. "I was in bed," she replied. "What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting a second opinion.”
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14-06-2020, 06:39 PM
1250

Re: Jokes for blokes

I have to do all the driving in my household because my wife never learned to drive.





In my opinion.
 
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