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Annie Jack
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Ontario, Canada
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15-08-2012, 01:59 PM
1

Decisions made

I meet with a trustee this Friday to file for bankruptcy. Last week I filed for social assistance and disability support which would allow me a drug card for prescriptions which I haven't been able to buy, and for basic dental care.

On the one hand it's a relief, on the other it's a horrible feeling of having failed. Social assistance will come to only about 35% of what my monthly expenses are now (house, utilities, food) so I need to find an affordable place to live asap.

My partner is listless and in denial about the state we're in. I'm the one going to meetings, filling out forms, making calls. He's pawned some of his goods to get money for food but that will run out quickly. I do have feelings for him but cannot support both of us plus his 2 spoiled teenagers. He refuses to let me list the 3 of them as dependants yet he has no source of income and my social assistance cheque could be higher if it was for 4 people instead of one. He does not want to work for anyone else as the government will garnishee 60% of his gross income for back taxes and fines he owes from long before we met. I knew nothing of his debts til recently. Now I realize why he suggested we set up a business together and why everything was done in my name only. I guess I've been quite the fool, much too trusting.

My caseworker suggested renting out 2 bedrooms to increase income. I cannot tell her that he and his kids are in those rooms.

I do have offers of temporary accommodation (for myself) with family and friends, a safety net for which I'm grateful. Life is changing... I'm so very tired just now.
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15-08-2012, 02:41 PM
2

Re: Decisions made

Oh Sue what a nightmare after all you have been coping with (hugs).

Feelings or not, I would take the offer of accommodation, it will at least give you a bit of breathing space with time to think and to find a more permanent solution.

Remember you have your health to consider here too. I would't think your on going living arrangements with your partner and his family are helping one bit .
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mesco m
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15-08-2012, 03:19 PM
3

Re: Decisions made

I'm really sorry to hear about your predicament. Your partner is not facing up to reality and he is selfish in allowing you to shoulder everything with out his support.
This may sound harsh but I would take the offer of accommodation and let them sink or swim. You need to look after your own health.
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15-08-2012, 03:46 PM
4

Re: Decisions made

Time to put yourself first.
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15-08-2012, 05:41 PM
5

Re: Decisions made

Agrees with everyone, especially Roxy....this the time to take care of you, and to allow your family to embrace and care for you.
Your partner seems to have made his choice, let him take responsibility for that choice.
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15-08-2012, 06:56 PM
6

Re: Decisions made

I know this has been going on for a while Sue, as I remember your previous thread regarding your predicament. I don't think anyone can advise you what to do, because you must already know what that is, I just hope that you can summon up the courage to do what you know you must...and here's a great big (((HUG))) if it helps. Take care of yourself, you really must think of yourself first now...
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15-08-2012, 07:08 PM
7

Re: Decisions made

I'm so sorry it has come to this Sue, sorry also that it has all fallen on your shoulders to sort out.

I, too, think you should take up the offer of accommodation from people who care about you, it will give you time and space to think out what lies ahead for your future.

Take care ...x
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anniemuldoon
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15-08-2012, 09:05 PM
8

Re: Decisions made

Oh Anniejack what a mess, you have to think of yourself first, go to those friends and have a break from all this, give yourself time to have a rest, you must take care girl , keep in touch as we will all be thinking of you. anniem.
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15-08-2012, 09:17 PM
9

Re: Decisions made

Oh Sue, I remember you worrying about what to do but it seems now that the decision's been made for you. It is hard now and I wish you all the strength you need to plod on through all this mess until you find yourself settled somewhere, happy and independent. You will get there Sue and it will be all the more sweeter because you did this all by yourself. Take good care, Mary
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Annie Jack
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16-08-2012, 01:54 PM
10

Re: Decisions made

Originally Posted by plantman ->
I just hope that you can summon up the courage to do what you know you must....
That's the worst of it - I don't have the courage yet and don't know how I'm going to get on.

Thank you all for the kind words. I meet with the trustee again Friday morning and am trying to keep calm. Was issued a gov't drug benefit card and filled a prescription yesterday which is meant to help with the fatigue I have from MS. Took my first dose this morning and feel spaced out and a bit nauseous. Just need to be able to think clearly...
 
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