15-12-2017, 06:14 PM
121
Re: A very bleak mood...
The locum G.P. I saw today wanted me assessed by the psychiatric emergency team....no way I'd go there, it would be a waste of time waiting around to get assessed. Plus it's miles away on the other side of the city - I don't like being there in the daytime so wouldn't go there at dark.See my proper G.P. on Monday at 8:15 so I can tell her about my helium bag experience then.
15-12-2017, 06:23 PM
122
Re: A very bleak mood...
Originally Posted by Ffosse
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It may sound weird, selfish and indicative of my bleak mood, but I almost wish my cancer would return so that I could be hospitalised and taken care off - kind of a break. But these are terrible thoughts, I know, they just keep churning through my mind.
Originally Posted by Ffosse
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I've even thought of pretending to rob a building society (with fake gun) just to get 5 years in jail - I'd be looked after and out of the way. That is my craziest thought yet, I wouldn't do it, couldn't harm anyone else, but life right now is worse than purgatory.
Originally Posted by Ffosse
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The locum G.P. I saw today wanted me assessed by the psychiatric emergency team....no way I'd go there, it would be a waste of time waiting around to get assessed. Plus it's miles away on the other side of the city - I don't like being there in the daytime so wouldn't go there at dark.See my proper G.P. on Monday at 8:15 so I can tell her about my helium bag experience then.
I've quoted your two previous posts...these are precisely the things you should tell your doctor when you see her.
15-12-2017, 08:38 PM
124
Re: A very bleak mood...
Originally Posted by Ffosse
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I'm going to mention them to her on Monday.
Even copy out word for word what you've posted (above) and take it with you, hand it to the doctor and tell her to keep it.
She may want to share it in an anonymous way (of course, professional ethics etc.) with colleagues, which might be beneficial.
I had a wonderful doctor when I was pregnant with my twins...I was frantic with worry I wouldn't be able to cope...
He always used to begin every session (appointment) with these words, "Tell me the story..." because he said doctors cannot read your mind so they need every detail you can give them.
I've never forgotten that piece of advice.
It saved my life a few years ago... that's another story
16-12-2017, 01:08 PM
126
Re: A very bleak mood...
Well, I'm still here but feel like I'm going to struggle through the weekend.Perhaps I should have taken the locum GP's advice yesterday and gone up to the hospital to be assessed. But I've already had a drink (just one) this morning and feel the compulsion to drink more.
I was in AA for a solid 6 years and although I stayed sober I ultimately didn't believe what they did (gets very religious).
I guess today I'm just looking for some support.
16-12-2017, 01:12 PM
127
Re: A very bleak mood...
Originally Posted by Ffosse
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Well, I'm still here but feel like I'm going to struggle through the weekend.Perhaps I should have taken the locum GP's advice yesterday and gone up to the hospital to be assessed. But I've already had a drink (just one) this morning and feel the compulsion to drink more.
I was in AA for a solid 6 years and although I stayed sober I ultimately didn't believe what they did (gets very religious).
I guess today I'm just looking for some support.
16-12-2017, 01:19 PM
128
Re: A very bleak mood...
Originally Posted by May
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Then get to an AA meet ASAP...the religious thing is just an excuse for You not to go...and You know it.
Drinking, though, could be a fast track to pancreatitis (of which I'm scared, not so much death just the physical pain).
16-12-2017, 01:30 PM
129
Re: A very bleak mood...
I agree with May! This happened a couple of weeks ago when you said you had been drinking in a pub and felt ashamed the following day.The only people who can help you are the AA and yourself, but the people on OFF will offer friendship and support if you make the effort to stay away from the drink
16-12-2017, 01:31 PM
130
Re: A very bleak mood...
Originally Posted by Ffosse
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Thanks, but I feel AA isn't for me...not that I'm better than them, but the fact that it just doesn't work. People in AA have the same tendency to drink as those who've never attended a meeting.Drinking, though, could be a fast track to pancreatitis (of which I'm scared, not so much death just the physical pain).
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