life as a telepnone engineer
I had to go fit a special phone on the wall in the hospital morgue. Because the mortician often could not use his hand to make or answer calls this phone was used by pushing an arm on it with an elbow.
The mortician looked the part as well which didn't help.
So off I go to this hospital morgue only to be told to wait as there were a couple of stiffs on the slabs and he had to put them away and wash down the slabs to get rid of the blood.
That turned me over for a start. So in i go and there in the middle of the room were these slabs like very flat baths with a hole in one end to take the blood away.
The smell nearly knocked me out a well with the chemicals they used.
The problem was not just putting the phone on the wall but getting the wiring to it which took the time. the phone junction box was wards away.
By this time they wanted to get back to work so i finished off quickly and glad to get out of there. Don't want to go in another even if I was dead
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Ever wondered about phones in lifts? yes fitted them as well.
The cable is aready in and leads up to the winding room at the top.
So there I was with the lift going up and down and people entering and leaving, no they would not shut it down for me.
I must have gone up and down at least 20 times before I managed to fit it in the small recess on the inside of the lift
I had already done all the connections in the winding room first
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went on a job to sort out an old lady who could not hear the phone ring.
well in the house someone had fitted in the hall two yes two bells the type you get on a building site, when they rang it was deafening and this old dear was more than upset as she could not hear them,
This was just as those trim phones came out, remember the slim line ones? well only that morning I had collected my allocated stock from the stores .
Now now way could i add another large bell the house would have collapsed, so i connected up one of these trim phones and tested it.
I don't think I have ever seen someone change so quickly from desperation to sheer delight, she could hear it easily.
She was tone deal not voluum deaf. Made me feel good as well for the rest of he day
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Work in one of the mental hospital with a mate, we had to go as a double unit for safety.
To get a phone service to the ward office required the cable to go under the floor. Under the floor there was enough room to stand up so no problem there.
On this particular occassion a teenage girl patient took a fancy to my mate Mick and folllowed him everywhere, except under the floor of course. Now Mick was one of the nicest guys you could wish to meet and single but very shy where the opposite sex were concerned,
So Mick decided to do the tunnels uder the floor but to find out where he was he had to lift the heavy floor tiles and stick his head up to see where to go.
Every time he put his head up this girl tried to kiss him, you have never seen anyone duck down as fast as he did and shut the tiles over him. I pissed myself laughing.
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So many tales I could tell being a telephone engineer, such as my van with me in it being surrounded suddemly by loads of police.
Or the lady who would not let me carry out work in her house
or the colour match story
or the Morris Minor van race
or a colleague being arrested mistakenly
it goes on and on
working in gays houses
Ten there is the famous painting story
or the so call ripped bedspread tale
or the inside outside wiring complaint
or customer wanting a phone a bottom of garden