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uncle salty
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uncle salty is offline
eastern united states
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 35
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01-10-2015, 07:33 PM
1

Hello, I Must Be Going...

Howdy everyone. It's great to be here. The cab stopped with a jerk and I got out.

But seriously folks...


Turning 50 was a big adjustment. There's no way I'm 50. My aunts and uncles are 50. The guy that runs the corner store is 50. My 2nd grade teacher is 50. I can't be fifty.

The toughest adjustment? People calling me sir. Every time someone calls me sir, I want to turn around and see if my dad is standing behind me. My father's name was sir, not mine.


I'm probably 30 lbs. overweight.

I have terrible sleep habits, due to 25 years of swing shift.

I have terrible eating habits. Nothing against healthy people, but my last meal will not be a carrot. My blood type might very well be mayo. I eat what I want.

I don't exercise at all. When I die, it won't be while running a 10k. It'll be face down in the driveway, clutching my chest in one hand and the snow shovel in the other.

I smoke. I know, I know, but it's the only bullet I have left. I have to maintain my status as social outcast.



Moving on..

I've been married for 24 years, and my youngest kids (twins), just started their senior year at university.

Being married that long, if you & your spouse run errands ogether and stop to eat, that counts as a date.

I don't drink or take drugs. Used to, though, back in my Gladiating years. I'm in my mortgage & tuition years now.



Speaking of years, I ascribe to the 'Santa Claus' philosophy of life. There are four phases.


1. You believe in Santa Claus.

2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.

3. You are Santa Claus.

and finally,

4. You look like Santa Claus.



I am officially in the last phase.


Ok, that covers life & family.





On to interests...



My hobbies:

1. I build models. I used to do them when I was a kid, and got away from it when I got older, but once the kids got old enough that they didn't depend on Mom and Dad so much, I found myself with some free time.

I prefer ships, but I've done other types. I'm currently working on the USS Constitution. I've been at it for maybe 6 months.

My wife can't understand how looking through a magnifying glass, tying tiny knots with two tweezers can possibly be relaxing. I can't explain it. It's somehow cathartic for me.

I do all my building down in my fort. I don't like the term 'Man Cave'. It's not accurate. I have models, posters, albums, action figures, etc. There is nothing to indicate a man ever goes in there.

Besides, if I was gonna call it a cave, I'd call it the Bat Cave. Duh!

The wife actually suggested I paint it, and she would put up a curtain. I told her, it's a fort, not a dollhouse.


2. I'm an avid puzzler. I have 25x25 sudokus, and entire books of Sunday crosswords. They're like heroin for me. I can't walk past a puzzle without stopping and looking.


3. I'm also a constant reader. My kids bought me a Kindle 3-4 Christmases ago, and I thought I'd never use it. Books are expensive, and I'm buy/sell/trade book guy.

But I gotta tell you, I found out there are over 70,000 free books at kindle. I now have maybe 800 books with me at all times. It's a very comforting thought.

I never thought I'd abandon 'real' books. If you're a reader, you know what I mean. An actual book gives you the tangibles kindle can't. The smell, bookmark, a little fraying.

But, with kindle, the first time I put my finger on a word I didn't know, and the definition popped up, that was it. I crossed over and haven't looked back.


As you can tell by my hobbies, I'm a fairly solitary person. I don't mind being by myself.



Misc. things:


I don't pick fights in forums. I have my opinions on all the hot button topics (abortion, stem cell, politics, the death penalty, etc), but I keep them to myself.

It's been my experience, if someone feels strongly about something, no amount of reasoning or point-counterpoint is going to bring them around to your way of thinking.


I don't know or care anything about politics. Republican, democrat, radical, right wing, left wing, conservatives, hut-hut-hike!

Regardless of party ot platform, the bottom line is there's only one agenda: Politicians do what's best for them, personally, and they'll say whatever they have to in order to get it.



Some random thoughts:

I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in order, the way they're supposed to be.

The Three Musketeers. All superior swordsmen. But... isn't a musket a gun?

Unless you only have one tooth, shouldn't it be called a teethbrush?

Always park near the cart return.

Guys, when you have to hold your wife's purse, Hold it like it's a football. It's the only shred of masculinity you have left.

Ladies, I have to ask...The sleeveless turtleneck. I don't get it. Are you cold or not?





Anyhow, sorry for rambling. It's good to be here. I wiped my feet and checked my gun at the door.
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Jem
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01-10-2015, 08:12 PM
2

Re: Hello, I Must Be Going...

Hello Uncle Salty and a very warm welcome to the forum. What a terrific introduction, you threw in everything there bar the kitchen sink, lovely.
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Hanfonius
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01-10-2015, 08:18 PM
3

Re: Hello, I Must Be Going...

I think you are going to cause a lot of fun, Uncle Salty.
Welcome. Just sit back and let it all hang out.

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01-10-2015, 08:22 PM
4

Re: Hello, I Must Be Going...

Wow!! I'm blown away, i like you already your a breadth of fresh air to any forum. Uncle Salty your in with us, have you shut the door and wiped your feet on the mat? Welcome then i'm pleased that you've joined us
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01-10-2015, 08:24 PM
5

Re: Hello, I Must Be Going...

Hi Uncle Salty,great post for starters lol
Welcome ,hope you enjoy it here!
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01-10-2015, 08:29 PM
6

Re: Hello, I Must Be Going...

Welcome from me too..
Red Kite
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01-10-2015, 08:33 PM
7

Re: Hello, I Must Be Going...

Hi Uncle Salty, I am new here and have had a lovely welcome and can see you are getting a warm one also.
Clearly we have found good company!

I think i am stuck at stage 3 of your Santa index.... might need to grow a beard...
all good wishes
Red Kite
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01-10-2015, 08:33 PM
8

Re: Hello, I Must Be Going...

Originally Posted by uncle salty ->
I'm an avid puzzler. I have 25x25 sudokus, and entire books of Sunday crosswords. They're like heroin for me. I can't walk past a puzzle without stopping and looking.
I too love puzzles and brainteasers. Sudokus I find a little boring now. There are only 4-5 "moves" to learn and once done they are very samey.

Have you come across Griddlers in the Sunday Telegraph? Also called Nonograms or Hanjie. They are empty grids with numbers along the side and top which give you clues as to which squares need to be shaded in. If you do t correctly the whole things makes a picture. You can try some here:

http://www.hanjie.co.uk/hanjie2.php
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01-10-2015, 08:45 PM
9

Re: Hello, I Must Be Going...

Welcome Uncle Salty, you sound almost too good to be true. Do you pick your nose maybe ?
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Docholliday
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01-10-2015, 09:22 PM
10

Re: Hello, I Must Be Going...

Uncle Salty you sound a great guy to chat to so get in touch when you feel like a chat.☺
 
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