My Last Wishes

I would like to be serious a moment, if I may.

It bothers me from time to time about dying.
I don't want to go, and cannot decide about cremation or burial.
The thought of being shoved in a furnace terrifies me, yet being buried underground also terrifies me.

I am waiting for some to say "you'll be flippin' dead gal, you won't know, what does it matter," but it's the thought that scares me witless.

I have just spoken to a nice lady on the parish council of the village where I used to live, as I feel I would eventually like to go back there. My parents are also in the cemetery there.
She said although I would be classed as a 'non-resident' I could still do it. I would have to buy my plot now, either a burial plot, an ashes plot, or I could have my ashes put in with Mum & Dad.
I can't decide.

I can't get my head round, nor ever imagine not being here.
I know it's probably ridiculous, but I'm feeling quite weepy at the moment trying to decide, yet I know I must.

What have others decided?

Re: My Last Wishes

Mups it is a serious matter.

I think what you have to decide is, is anyone going to look after your grave after you have gone, put flowers on it, tidy it up, or do you want anyone to bother. Do you want people to look at your grave and to know you have been here. If there is no one to look after the grave then why not be cremated.

I have to say personally I don't know what to do the only thing I have said to my hubby is make sure I am dead. After we are gone there is not going to be anyone going to the grave so might as well be buried or have ashes put in the back yard.

I think if you are getting weepy about it just walk away for now and come back to it when you can think straighter, have you any family you can ask the question of.

Re: My Last Wishes

Mups I am sure it is something that bothers many people.

All my family including my parent/grandparents/sister are buried/ their ashes buried together in Derbyshire.

I will be the odd one out and will have a simple 'Woodland burial' locally, no funeral no grave .

I like they idea of laying among the trees and wildflower surrounded by wildlife

This one is quite well established and not far from me. There is one nearer but not so well grown as yet...
http://www.humberwoodland.co.uk/

Re: My Last Wishes

A lovely poem from Pam Ayres, thanks Meg.

Re: My Last Wishes

I feel the same Mups, but I think at least with cremation you know that you will be dead!
My sister had a woodland type burial, it was lovely but, I kept thinking of her all alone out there and as it was very close to a lake I couldn't help wondering if it would flood.
I think I'm going to go with cremation and have my ashes in a pot to grow a tree.
I was thinking of donating me body to science but I'm scared they may try to experiment in keeping my brain alive and that would be horrific!

Re: My Last Wishes

Mups I have thought about this for many years and I think i have found the answer for me.
The cats, I have loved and lost, have been cremated and I have retained their ashes. I never had children so I consider my cats to be my family and I have decided that, when it is my time to go, I will be cremated and have mine and my cats ashes scattered together. I just haven't made up my mind where that will be yet.
I will have no memorial stone, because I feel it puts pressure on people to visit it!

Re: My Last Wishes

I think about it too. Whom ever goes first we will be cremated and then once the other has gone our ashes put together and scattered to the wind. I too do not want a memorial stone preferring people just to remember you as you once were.

Re: My Last Wishes

Take Your time Mups and ponder on it until You're sure of what You want,then discuss it with Family etc' as I did,.....afterwards I decided on cremation so went with Daughter/Son/SIL to make all the arrangements even down to what outfit I would wear at 'the viewing' and what music would be played..I'm a bit o' an Opera Buff so thought about Maria Callas and 'Un Bel Di'....but thought that was just too sad...so as I'm also an auld rocker and a Scottish Lass...decided on Frankie Millers 'Caledonia'...that'll get Em all bawling Their eyes oot ........When it was all mulled over,payed for,agreed by All,I felt good about taking control and also making it easier for My Children when the time comes and I'm sure You will too,x

Re: My Last Wishes

I want my corpse to be disposed of in the cheapest and most environmental way possible. My husband has always said a used potato sack would be good enough for my remains!

I don't want a funeral or a wake, I just want my family to remember me with laughter, when they think of all the crazy things I did during my life. It was probably one of them that saw me off anyway!

Re: My Last Wishes

No choice here we only have cremation, so that's not got to be decided, other than that I want cheap and cheerful, I'm more about having people have a big party and enjoying themselves rather than worrying about my body and what happens to it. I'm tempted so say fancy dress at the party possibly Star Trek or rocky horror show. Lots of laughter and no misery.

I hope you find a way to do what you really want mups, but don't get upset over it, whatever you decide will be right there is no right or wrong in this.

I don't think dying is to be feared no one comes back and says is awful !