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west wales
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02-12-2017, 05:37 PM
481

Re: Jokes for blokes

An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed toward the swinging doors of the saloon. "Hold on there, Mister," said the sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?" "Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips." "And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked. "Nope, but it keeps me from lick'en 'em."
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02-12-2017, 08:12 PM
482

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Primus1 ->
A man is stranded on a desert island, after a few days wandering, he comes across a native tribe and finds out they have just lost their chieftain, the tribe tell the man that he can become their new chief but first he has to pass three tests, the man agrees, he is taken to a clearing where three straw huts stand, " in the first hut " says a tribe member, " are 20 gallons of our native beer, you must drink the beer and go onto the second test, " he continues, " in the second hut is a gorilla with a sore tooth, you must pull out the tooth, if you survive that you can go onto the final test, " in the third hut is our late chiefs beautiful young daughter, you must make love to her until she can take no more" the man agrees and goes into the first hut, after several hours he staggers out and makes his way to the second hut, " do you want to rest" asks the native, but the man declines, wanting to complete the tests before he sleeps, and staggers into the next hut, after 2 hours he emerges, covered in blood, bruises and scratches, " now" he says " where's the girl with the sore tooth.....
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02-12-2017, 08:58 PM
483

Re: Jokes for blokes

That recent crop of jokes just turned an average Saturday night into a happy Saturday night....
Thanks Primus, Doc and JBR....
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02-12-2017, 09:44 PM
484

Re: Jokes for blokes

So I asked the wife what she wants for Christmas.

She said she wants 'Some chocolate, and a nice surprise would be lovely'.

Kinder Egg it is then...........
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02-12-2017, 10:00 PM
485

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Judd ->
So I asked the wife what she wants for Christmas.

She said she wants 'Some chocolate, and a nice surprise would be lovely'.

Kinder Egg it is then...........
Brilliant
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02-12-2017, 10:08 PM
486

Re: Jokes for blokes

Only in America . I talked to a homeless man this morning and asked him
how he ended up this way. He said, "Up until last week, I still had it
all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a
roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the
pool, and the library. “I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no
bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage." I felt sorry
for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol?
Divorce?" "Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no.... I was paroled."
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02-12-2017, 10:25 PM
487

Re: Jokes for blokes

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02-12-2017, 10:29 PM
488

Re: Jokes for blokes

This is good stuff lads.....
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03-12-2017, 11:05 AM
489

Re: Jokes for blokes

Little Johnny's dad saw his son killing a honeybee, furious he shouted at his son " you shouldn't kill honeybees, no honey for you for a month", later his dad finds Johnny in the back yard this time he's pulling the wings off a butterfly, again his dad shouts , " you shouldn't kill butterflies, no butter for you for a month", later, his mum is in the kitchen preparing dinner, when a large cockroach runs across the floor, his mum jumps on the cockroach and squashes it flat, little Johnny looks at his dad and says, " are you going to tell her dad, or do you want me to do it"?..
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03-12-2017, 11:50 AM
490

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Primus1 ->
Little Johnny's dad saw his son killing a honeybee, furious he shouted at his son " you shouldn't kill honeybees, no honey for you for a month", later his dad finds Johnny in the back yard this time he's pulling the wings off a butterfly, again his dad shouts , " you shouldn't kill butterflies, no butter for you for a month", later, his mum is in the kitchen preparing dinner, when a large cockroach runs across the floor, his mum jumps on the cockroach and squashes it flat, little Johnny looks at his dad and says, " are you going to tell her dad, or do you want me to do it"?..
 
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