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JBR
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Cheshire, UK
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11-06-2021, 09:50 PM
2261

Re: Let's have a laugh

I went to the zoo at the weekend.
It only had one animal.
It was a dog.
It was a shih tzu!
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JBR
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JBR is offline
Cheshire, UK
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11-06-2021, 09:52 PM
2262

Re: Let's have a laugh

Sheepdog: "I got all the 30 sheep into the pen boss."
Shepherd: "But I've only got 29 sheep."
Sheepdog: "I rounded them up!!"
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JBR
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Cheshire, UK
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11-06-2021, 09:53 PM
2263

Re: Let's have a laugh

What's the difference between a haematologist and a urologist?

A haematologist pricks your finger.
Judd's Avatar
Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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11-06-2021, 10:45 PM
2264

Re: Let's have a laugh

I've just bought a first-aid kit. I thought I'd treat myself.
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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11-06-2021, 10:47 PM
2265

Re: Let's have a laugh

I went on a blind date recently and a mate said "A bit of a heads-up, she's expecting a baby"

I felt a right pillock sitting at the bar wearing only a nappy.
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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11-06-2021, 10:49 PM
2266

Re: Let's have a laugh

After nearly 8 weeks, I finally got my copy of Einstein's Theory of Relativity delivered.

It's about time.
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Percy Vere
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Wilds and woolly wastes of Staffordshire, UK
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13-06-2021, 04:42 PM
2267

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by JBR ->
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found Traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that
Their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American Archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their Ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians".

One week later, the British authorities reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in North Yorkshire, Jack Arkwright, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely f*** all. Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."
Just makes you bloody proud to be British, don't it!
I sit here with tears of pure pride running down my cheeks.

Nicked.
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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13-06-2021, 05:01 PM
2268

Re: Let's have a laugh

Wayne Rooney has visited Cristian Eriksen in hospital.
“He’s doing really well, he even managed to string an entire sentence together.” said Eriksen
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Primus1
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York
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13-06-2021, 05:14 PM
2269

Re: Let's have a laugh

My wife yelled at me because I apparently treat her like a child...

So I gave her a sticker for standing up for herself!
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Right Now
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upstate New York US
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13-06-2021, 06:44 PM
2270

Re: Let's have a laugh

I just got pulled over by a cop.
He asked me if I had a police record.
Apparently, "Roxanne" was not the correct answer.
 
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