Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Strange things happened on sofas back then, especially those that had those strong steel springs in them.
My granny had a beautiful handmade oak sofa in the parlour, carved with scrolls and flowers on the back and down the sides of the arm rests, it was covered in lush dark green velvet and stuffed with springs and horsehair and it took pride of place under the main front window, a real antique piece.
The parlour was only used for quests and special occasions, the most distinguished guests being the rent man, the parish priest and a certain bejewelled lady called Mrs Price, who we found out many years later was a moneylender, she had so much expensive jewellery on her that I once heard me granny compare her radiance to the Bailey Lighthouse.
Anyway one night one of my uncles, who was nuts about women but for some reason or other he never married, his older brother (my Dad) called him the “Bed Swerver”, took me years to find out what that meant.
Well this night he brought home a lovely girl, (the uncle not me Dad) who I have to say was a bit on the large size, he was like Benny Hill that way, he liked them big, and after much pleading with the granny he was granted permission to use the parlour.
The older brother and me were kids then and were passing the parlour door on our way to bed when an unmerciful female scream come from within. Yerwoman came dashing out of the parlour holding onto her arse, a spring had come through the sofa and a sharp wire ripped her dress right through to her knickers, nearly disarsed her altogether, she was followed out by our red faced uncle in his stockinged feet busy fiddling with the flies of his trousers, we never saw her again.

Dublin are all Ireland champions again, 5 titles in a row!, the first team ever to achieve that honour, I'm not crazy about sports but I’ve been out celebrating with the family, the whole city is partying, well done to the lads!

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Sofas and DFS, Dat ****1ng Spring.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Never felt comfortable in a parlour especially doing the courting bit as you knew full well somebody would be earwigging at the keyhole....and relaying every move made.

Last time ....knowing that was happening I poked the fire for a distraction and caused a huge soot fall. Believe me the Black and White minstrels would have proud of me that night for the merry dance I caused.

"Never darken our doorstep" again took on a whole new meaning

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

The FIL was looking a bit down last week, so we suggested he got a hobby, something to occupy his mind, Well, yesterday we asked him if had given this any thought, and he said "yes, can you get me a glass beaker for the bathroom" what for we asked? "I think I need something to get my teeth into" he said.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I reckon the fella who invented “Fixodent” made his fortune during the war when “Loose talk caused lives”
My granny had a square delph box with a lid on it, she kept it by her bedside and put her dentures into it, I think the stuff she used on them was Sterident and she called the box her “chatterbox”.
Who remembers those trick false teeth you could wind up and they would chatter away?
Nice crossword clue that “container for dentures?”— Chatterbox.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I'm in the process of cleaning up the workshop, I came upon a newspaper from 2012, there's a piece in it about a fella who tries to eat his house, I'll post it later tonight if I can, see yiz later.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

(Re. Post 3,604) No I wouldn’t be able for them talking heads myself Solo, spooky indeed, I even hate going on Skype, the wife has to drag me in front of the camera when the son is in Rome, it’s not natural to stare a person straight in the face while speaking to them as is Skype, give me the old fashioned way anytime.

One dare not mention the black and white minstrels anymore, I think they were the first to get the sack when the BBC had to get real, good riddance to them too, I hated that show.
We had a group over here who used to blacken up and do shows, “The Black Jesters” I’ve never seen them personally but my Dad told me they used to do a Christmas show in one of the TB sanatoriums he was in back in the early late 40’s and early 50’s.

As I said earlier I was tidying up the workshop today and came upon an old newspaper dated 2012, the height of the austerity years here, this is the bit that grabbed my attention, chew on this.

Man tries to eat house.

“A forty six year old Dublin man, Patrick Moore, was before Justice Owens (not real names) in court No.4 at Morgan Place yesterday after being arrested at his home where he was sitting at the side wall of the house with a hammer and chisel lobbing off chunks of brick, smashing them to dust, eating the dust and swallowing it down with water from a large plastic bottle, he was laughing hysterically while chipping away at the wall.
A worried neighbour had called the guards and when the investigating guard asked him what he was doing, he replied “I’m going to do me best to eat as much of my house as I can before the greedy banks gets a hold of it”
The guard noticed that the man was foaming at the mouth like a ‘Mad Dog’ and decided to call for back up, when they eventually got him to the station he was raving and violent, they had to restrain him in a straight jacket, a Doctor was called, he examined the man and recommended he be taken under guard to Portrane psychiatric hospital immediately.
Judge Owens asked why the man was brought before him in the first place, as far as he knew it was not a crime to eat ones own house, providing one had the stomach for it it was perfectly legal, anyway it was out of his hands now and they will have to await the medical reports.”

I’m sure many decent respectable sane folks lost their reason during those very tough years.

Actually the judge was wrong, if you fancy eating your own house you cannot eat it unless it’s fully paid for, this poor unfortunate man’s house was in the process of being repossessed because he could not keep up with the payments having lost his job through redundancy, hard luck I know but the law can be very cruel by times.

Maybe it's not so strange, I once over heard two women talking at a bus stop and one said to the other "That O'Mara fella was left all his fathers money and property, he drank every penny of it including the house and car"

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

My Energy provider sent me a poem, and here it is.

Smart meters are here -
We’ve mentioned it before.
They replace your old gas and electricity meters
But they tell you so much more.

Get more accurate energy bills
From automatic readings -
It’s an easy way to check
On your recent proceedings.

Knowing more about your usage,
Can really help you save.
Spot your energy-efficient appliances
And the ones that misbehave.

Our meters are second generation,
So if you switch they’ll stay smart.
Our installing engineers are local -
Are you ready to make a start?

Hit the button below
To book your installation.
Together we’ll make the grid greener -
And be a slightly smarter nation.


So, I sent them one

Don't want a Smart Meter
You'll never make me teeter
It won't save me a penny
I'll stick with Spinning Jenny
You know I don't like data
I prefer a baked potata
Eating it would be far less glee
If in production I knew how much energy
Devices round here must get More sparse
So you can stick those meters up your arse.

© Spitty circa 2019.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Jem that was very interesting about Mr Moore. The poor man proved beyond a shadow of doubt that there is no accounting for taste is there...still after chomping on a few bricks you knew for certain that he would be in need of yer Granny's chatterbox.

Nice poem add on there spitty. If they say it's SMART it will only be smart in their favour and not ours. I add this to the very idea of these meters. Nice though that we have been given a few more years to keep saying b****r off

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Love that clip solo.