Yesterday, 10:48 PM
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Strange things happened on sofas back then, especially those that had those strong steel springs in them.
My granny had a beautiful handmade oak sofa in the parlour, carved with scrolls and flowers on the back and down the sides of the arm rests, it was covered in lush dark green velvet and stuffed with springs and horsehair and it took pride of place under the main front window, a real antique piece.
The parlour was only used for quests and special occasions, the most distinguished guests being the rent man, the parish priest and a certain bejewelled lady called Mrs Price, who we found out many years later was a moneylender, she had so much expensive jewellery on her that I once heard me granny compare her radiance to the Bailey Lighthouse.
Anyway one night one of my uncles, who was nuts about women but for some reason or other he never married, his older brother (my Dad) called him the “Bed Swerver”, took me years to find out what that meant.
Well this night he brought home a lovely girl, (the uncle not me Dad) who I have to say was a bit on the large size, he was like Benny Hill that way, he liked them big, and after much pleading with the granny he was granted permission to use the parlour.
The older brother and me were kids then and were passing the parlour door on our way to bed when an unmerciful female scream come from within. Yerwoman came dashing out of the parlour holding onto her arse, a spring had come through the sofa and a sharp wire ripped her dress right through to her knickers, nearly disarsed her altogether, she was followed out by our red faced uncle in his stockinged feet busy fiddling with the flies of his trousers, we never saw her again.
Dublin are all Ireland champions again, 5 titles in a row!, the first team ever to achieve that honour, I'm not crazy about sports but I’ve been out celebrating with the family, the whole city is partying, well done to the lads!