Re: Jokes for blokes

Breaking News!!!!

An elderly man passed out on top of the London Eye.....Paramedics said the gentleman has recovered...although it took him an hour to come round.

Re: Jokes for blokes

When Keith first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect for longer, he was delighted as was his wife. But after several weeks his penis had grown to nearly 20 inches.

Keith became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing and even walking, so he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.

After an initial consultation, the doctor explained to the couple that, although rare, Keith's condition could be fixed by corrective surgery.

"How long will he be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.

"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.

"Well," said the wife coldly, "you're going to lengthen his legs, aren't you?"

Re: Jokes for blokes

What do you call a man with a two inch penis? Justin.

Re: Jokes for blokes

A lawyer opens the door of his BMW. Another car speeds by and hits the door, ripping it off completely.

When the police arrive, the lawyer is complaining bitterly. "Officer, look what they've done to my car!" he whines.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" replies the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid car, you haven't even noticed your left arm was ripped off!"

"Oh my God!" replied the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"

Re: Jokes for blokes

Have you heard about the new treatment doctors are prescribing for depressed lesbians?

It's called Tricoxagain.

Re: Jokes for blokes

Mary had a little skirt
With splits right up the sides
And every time that Mary walked
The boys could see her thighs.

Mary had another skirt
'Twas split right up the front
...but she didn't wear that one very often...

Re: Jokes for blokes

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too... cos he was funny that way.

Re: Jokes for blokes

There was a young lady from Cheam
Who tried out a breast growing cream
She awoke in the night
With a terrible fright
Another had grown in between!

Re: Jokes for blokes

How fights start.

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

Re: Jokes for blokes

Really good one mate