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Uncle Joe
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Uncle Joe is offline
Brighton UK
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 25,458
Uncle Joe is male  Uncle Joe has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
07-09-2017, 12:33 PM
1

Darwin awards

The Darwin's are out!!!!



You gotta love “The Darwin Awards / Lists”.



Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the 'Darwin Awards'
are bestowed, honouring the least "evolved" among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, the would-be
robber John Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He
peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it
worked.

And now, the honourable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a
claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence
sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the
machine and he also lost a finger... The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies... The
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. Then asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying
to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he
was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the
register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone
points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved
it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and
hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The
liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was
caught on videotape...

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out
of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the
purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast.... The man, frustrated, walked away.

[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he
bargained for... Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man
curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police
spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline,
but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by
mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying
that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with
friends and family....unless of course one of these individuals by
chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be
glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

*** Remember...They walk among us, they can reproduce...AND they
VOTE!!!
 

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