smile with the Irish

Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one;
but after looking through her knickers drawer and finding a nurse's outfit,
a French maids outfit, and a police woman’s uniform,
he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him

Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy as he nears the top of the ladder
and starts shaking and going dizzy.
He calls down to Murphy and says
"I tink I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick."
Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?"
Paddy replies "No I only live round the corner."

After 100 years lying on the sea bed,
Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanics swimming pool was still full!