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venus
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venus is offline
Cheshire UK
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 702
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23-02-2015, 07:02 PM
1

Simple truths

SIMPLE TRUTH 1:

Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.


SIMPLE TRUTH 2:
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say,
"Congratulations".
But, none of them touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".
Simple Truth: Some members of a team are never appreciated.


FIVE OTHER SIMPLE TRUTHS:
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Rolls Royce than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.

3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

Bonus Truth: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex.
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
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APRICOT
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APRICOT is offline
Suffolk UK
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 5,837
APRICOT is female  APRICOT has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
03-03-2015, 03:48 PM
2

Re: Simple truths

That made me laugh, very funny.
 



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