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19-12-2017, 01:54 PM
11

Re: Sad news

Originally Posted by Jazzi ->
Can you cope with a quick phone call? Maybe they’d be glad of that.


I agree with Jazzi Zuludog.
Find a time when you can sit down and let her talk, it may help both of you.
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zuludog
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19-12-2017, 07:49 PM
12

Re: Sad news

Thanks for your advice

Quite apprehensively I phoned Anne this afternoon and she was quite calm and resigned. Her attitude was along the lines of 'let's not have any weeping & wailing, we've all gotta go sometime'.
I do hope she can keep that sort of strength up

So we had a pleasant chat about old times and old friends, and she promised to call me if she wanted to.
She started chemotherapy about a month ago, but that will only delay the inevitable
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Jazzi
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19-12-2017, 08:16 PM
13

Re: Sad news

That's great to hear you had that chat! She knows you are there for her now.
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lovemyboys
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19-12-2017, 08:26 PM
14

Re: Sad news

I remember making that first phone call to a friend a few years back. It was hard, but I was so glad I finally found the courage to do so, as I'm sure you are.

We'd moved away from my friend before she got cancer (pancreatic), and sometimes she didn't feel like talking.
So I also sent weekly 'thinking of you' cards. Her husband told me that she really looked forward to those cards, especially when she wasn't feeling so great from her treatments, so I started sending them more often.
They were as much for me as they were for her - I felt like I was doing something for her.

I hope your friend has a gentle journey.
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20-12-2017, 11:51 AM
15

Re: Sad news

I found that when I had cancer (not terminal) people, not close friends shunned me - it was like they didn't know what to say. Consequently I only had 2 regular visitors during the 3 months I was in hospital.

I think you've done the right thing though in phoning your friend and having a chat.
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zuludog
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22-12-2017, 04:18 PM
16

Re: Sad news

I did some errands in town this morning
I saw a woman sitting outside a cafe having a coffee and a cigarette; and two shop assistants standing outside a shop, obviously on a fag break

How I wanted to tell them about Anne!

But I didn't, I just carried on walking past. After all, there are already enough warnings & information available
They would probably have thought I was just a sad, interfering old man, and told me in no uncertain terms to mind my own business

Over the past couple of days I mentally compiled a list of friends, acquaintance, and former work colleagues, which came to just under 30 people, and none of them smoke
Anne did, but gave up about 15 or 16 years ago; unfortunately there is a history of cancer in her family
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deylon
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22-12-2017, 08:50 PM
17

Re: Sad news

As said all you can do is say how sorry you are and try to be strong for your frirnd,kep letters/phone calls light and cheerful,But try to listen if she wants to talk about her illness or how she is feeling. I have a friend who has a nasty bowel condition and facing a bowel op,she is terrifi and phones me every night to say how she feels and what she has to do.I get tired listening to the same thing every night but I keep quiet and listen
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