Re: Quite Unexpected

I have just spoken to a friend on the phone and he told me to just pull my head out of my *rs*. He said that we had been divorced for many years and that death was just a part of life. He said my exhusband would never have made peace with either me or his children so just get on with it. I have enough problems without making any more. It has made me sit up and think that he is probably right.

Re: Quite Unexpected

I have kept quiet on this topic until I read your last post Cookiecate - and I agree with your friend.

Get on with your life - yes, support your son, but don't waste your time grieving for this man, who obviously made your life a misery. Life is too short to waste on people who don't merit your grief.

Sorry, but that's my honest opinion.

Re: Quite Unexpected

And it's my honest opinion too. I read your OP with sympathy but also with an urge to say what your friend has just told you. I can understand your need to put it in writing but please put it behind you now, no one is immortal, there's so much to do and enjoy and you should be doing just that.

Re: Quite Unexpected

Perhaps because you once felt enough for him to get married. Such strong emotions are difficult to forget, even if things went so wrong afterwards. As others have said though, time to move on. I hope you can soon.

Re: Quite Unexpected

I think 'honesty' has been a great relief and I do thank you all for your words. Yes I can move on quite easily if I am honest. The truth is this man made my life a misery and yes I am alive and I shall not waste my time thinking of what might have been.

Re: Quite Unexpected

It sounds as if you've reached closure on this. Good. Life goes on.

Re: Quite Unexpected

Cookiecate, A friend of mine went through hell during her marriage to an alcoholic. She left him twice but went back when he promised to seek help but never did. She eventually divorced him as she was tired of him wetting the bed,throwing up and even walloping her at times. She went into a hostel with the kids and had to live there for a year until she was re housed. She worked darn hard to buy that house and eventually re married yet when her ex was dying from cirrosis of the liver she went to see him and attended his funeral with her hubby for closure. Maybe thats how you felt but like my friend,try to move on now. You have your life to live CC. All the best. CD.

Re: Quite Unexpected

I can only think that we humans are very complex articles. I am a much stronger and more confident person now than when I was married and common sense tells me that I am grieving for my son who has lost a father.