Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided

I hope you enjoy your Christmas with your daughter plantman, every moment is precious.

I do however sympathise with Lizzie. With her sister coming over from America you would think, this year at least, she would spend Christmas with her Mum. I am in the same boat except that I will, for the 5th year running, not see my son. He will be entertaining his In-Laws again this year.

We live in hope! Next year perhaps, might take someone's advice and get my invitation in early!

Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided

We traditionally spent Christmas day with my parents, first year their house after that at ours, Boxing Day we went to In Laws. When my son got married both sets of parents were invited to my son's Christmas Day which went on for 16 yrs, this year's the first I've not spent with them, my choice.

Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided

I've decided to not let this bother me. It's not worth the stress as to who goes where and either feeling left out or inflicting guilt. My daughter is currently immature as is her boyfriend and I'm staying out of that scenario. Thanks for all your comments

Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided

Hope you had a good Christmas and a happy New Year anyway.

Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided

Christmas can be a stressful and depressing time for many people.

Part of the reason why this time can be so stressful is the unrealistic expectation of coming together as a happy family on this one day of the year.

Can we have a 'good enough' Christmas, without expecting too much of ourselves or demanding too much of others.

The emphasis on family, friends and shared good times during the 'festive season' can make some people feel depressed and unloved.

Not everyone has families to share Christmas, what about all the single people, the elderly, widowed, bereaved and divorced.?

Having said all that you are the only person who really knows your daughters and all I would say is try not to rock the boat.

Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided

I am very glad I have no family left apart from my cousin in Jersey who I see rarely. It means I can do what I want at Christmas or at any other time without being pressurised into going here there and everywhere. Surely it must be nice to spend Christmas in your own home with your immediate family rather than trying to please everyone.

Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided

You should never expect your kids to dance to your tune, especially when they have families of their own, otherwise resentment soon builds up.

We brought our kids up to think for themselves and to do their own thing. Of course it is nice to see them when they visit us, but we certainly don't moan if we haven't seen them for a while, they are very busy people. Because we don't expect the earth, we have an excellent relationship with them.

Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided

I feel a bit of a Scrooge here -I don't celebrate Christmas and don't care where my kids spend theirs'. I guess if I only saw them infrequently it might be different.

Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided

not everyone has a 'We' some are an 'I'. Boot on the other foot some children expect parents to dance to their tune, to do what they want them to do.

Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided

I am of the opinion that as kids don't ask to be born the duty is on the parents to do the decent thing. Of course you hope your kids will get on with you, but the input has to come from the parents. They shouldn't become a burden, imo.