03-06-2012, 03:34 AM
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Re: Can this be true?!
My OH and his brother sometimes carry on as if they despise each other. It took me a while to realize it's good-natured.As for women I don't think the generalization is true - it depends on how close they are to one another. My daughters and I can trust each other to be truthful yet supportive.
08-06-2012, 01:41 PM
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Re: Can this be true?!
An interesting thread.I think a lot of people, particularly women, make complimentary and pleasing comments which they don't mean, whether to a person face to face, or on forums like this one.
Maybe I am just very cynical, but reading the outpourings on this forum, which either compliment another member, or sympathise with their woes, I wonder just how genuine the comments are? Some of the compliments, for instance, seem OTT and undeserved. I suspect the more a person raves about something another has done, is wearing etc, the less likely the comment is genuinely meant.
Unless I actually felt any empathy towards a person I would not express complimentary or sympathetic feelings, believing it to be hypocritical. I don't know anyone personally on this forum, so their personal circumstances don't make any impression on me, anymore than I would expect mine to on them.
Fortunately my three girls tell it like it is where I am concerned. If I am behaving like a senile, daft old bat they will say so!
08-06-2012, 02:18 PM
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Re: Can this be true?!
I think that with forums Willow what people say can only be taken at face value. It is not hypocritical to admire something - Bobmilke's photographs for example are excellent and he obviously takes a lot of time and effort with them; it is his hobby and is important to him, so why not say that the effort is appreciated. He is sharing something with the rest of us.I also don't think it is hypocritical to show empathy when someone is brave enough to disclose something that concerns them. We all have problems - some more than others and it is often helpful to get someone else's anonymous point of view. Individuals are generally pretty good at judging when someone is genuine in what they say or not and like I said it's wise to take what people post at face value only - take it or leave it, the choice is there. A few thoughtful words costs nothing and could do some good. Hurtful comments are few and far between and are not necessary and, fortunately, most people refrain from being judgemental or hurtful. I find that forums are often quite good places for people to "bounce" things off each other, to share, and get a different perspective on a problem. Nothing at all hypocritical IMO in letting someone know that you can understand what they may be feeling.
08-06-2012, 02:35 PM
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Re: Can this be true?!
If you empathise with someone then fine, say so. I was just querying how many of the comments were genuine empathy, or people running off at the mouth?I haven't seen that person's photos, I don't look at profiles on which I presume they are displayed.
If an opinion is asked for then I will give it honestly, I won't say something nice just for the sake of it.
08-06-2012, 02:43 PM
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Re: Can this be true?!
[QUOTE=Willow;195642]If you empathise with someone then fine, say so. I was just querying how many of the comments were genuine empathy, or people running off at the mouth?I haven't seen that person's photos, I don't look at profiles on which I presume they are displayed.
If an opinion is asked for then I will give it honestly, I won't say something nice just for the sake of it.[/QUOTE]
Neither will I Willow and I think I said what people say is best taken at face value, nice or nasty.
Bob puts up his photograpic work as a thread from time to time - I don't know if they are in his profile photographs or not, but his work is excellent and well worth a look.
08-06-2012, 04:29 PM
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Re: Can this be true?!
Originally Posted by Willow
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An interesting thread. I think a lot of people, particularly women, make complimentary and pleasing comments which they don't mean, whether to a person face to face, or on forums like this one.
I don't feel the least bit hypocritical in doing so because the sentiments I express are genuine.
I am sure there are others on the forum who feel as I do.
If everyone only felt empathy for those they know personally the world would be a colder harsher place.
ETA I think Janela's original post was meant to be light hearted not a serious observation...
08-06-2012, 05:11 PM
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Re: Can this be true?!
Originally Posted by Willow
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OK I'm weird but I find it very hard to empathise with people in the virtual world of cyberspace. After all how do you know if they are for real?
. People in 'the 'real world' can turn out to be not as genuine as they seem. Take yourself 'Willow' , I have no way of knowing how genuine you are.
I don't think it is difficult to spot genuine people from their behaviour, time usually provides confirmation of this.
08-06-2012, 06:08 PM
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Re: Can this be true?!
Originally Posted by Willow
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OK I'm weird but I find it very hard to empathise with people in the virtual world of cyberspace. After all how do you know if they are for real?
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