your oldest gag/joke to groan at is ?

I was driving down a one way street and got stopped by a policeman

Policeman" This is a one way street and your going the wrong way. Didn't you see the arrows"?

me " Arrows? I didn't even see the Indians".

Re: your oldest gag/joke to groan at is ?

What did the Pink Panther say when he stood on an ant?

Dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant ........dead annnnnt ......

Re: your oldest gag/joke to groan at is ?

Nah then vitnery, does tha sterilise cats?
Aye, I do. Is it a Tom?
Nah lad, av fetched it wi me

Re: your oldest gag/joke to groan at is ?

Guy comes home and finds his best friend in bed with his wife.
He says.."Bloody hell!...Lenny!.. I have to...But you!?"

Re: your oldest gag/joke to groan at is ?

One guy said to another : Its a pity about your teeth
And the other guy said what do you mean what's wrong with my teeth
And the first guy said nothing they just spoil a good arse

Re: your oldest gag/joke to groan at is ?

Three children of an ambulance driver sat at the breakfast table....

Mother. "Who wants cereal?"

Kids. "Me ma, me ma, me ma"

Re: your oldest gag/joke to groan at is ?

Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project - an action docudrama about famous composers starring top movie stars. Sylvester Stallone, Steven Segall, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were all present. Spielberg strongly desired the box office 'oomph' of these superstars, so he was prepared to allow them to select whatever composers they wished to portray, as long as they were famous.

"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play him."

"Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people saw me playing the piano," replied Willis. "I'll play him."

"I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Segall. "I'd like to play him."

Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid." Then, turning to Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be, Arnold?" Arnold in a slow deliberate voice replied, "I'll be Bach."

Re: your oldest gag/joke to groan at is ?

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him what? A super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis

Re: your oldest gag/joke to groan at is ?

At a Scottish bakery....

Is that a cake or a meringue?

Aye, you're correct, it's a cake

Re: your oldest gag/joke to groan at is ?

Judge: I order you to pay $10,000

Mario: Why?

Judge: It’s a fine.

Mario: No itsa not.