Operation Granby

I wrote this thirty years ago whilst working at a UK aerospace research facility during Operation Granby (UK Military operations in Gulf War 1).
The job started the day the air-war started, and finished the day the war ended.
It was Winter over here with frosts and snow now and then. I was working with a couple of other engineers from my company, one of whom had been seconded from the nuclear submarine division.



First, I need you to familiarise yourselves, or remind you, of poems written by Marriot Edgar and recited by such eminent people as Stanley Holloway, in a northern accent on vinyl records, music halls, and radio, and later the likes of Jim Dale on TV.

This is the first two verses from one of those poems so you get the idea of how they scanned or flowed.


The Battle of 'Astings
(Marriott Edgar)

I'll tell of the Battle of 'astings,
as 'appened in days long gone by,
When Duke William became t' King of England
and 'arold got shot in the eye.

'Twere this way: one day in October
The Duke, who were always a toff,
And 'aving no battles on at the moment,
'ad given all 'is lads t' day off.


Reports were coming back home from the the war zone that our troops lacked basic comforts, so several people set up collection points around the UK for items to be donated and then sent in bulk out to the Gulf. My colleagues and I blagged goodies from out hotel, and bought various items including sweets and treats, female sanitary products, and anything we could think of that our armed forces would be glad of, and took them to one of these collection points in the town where we were staying.
We bought a Good Luck card, and rather than just put a few words in it, I decided to write a semi-humorous, semi-serious poem in the style of the ones that Marriot wrote.

Yer Tiz.


In a far-flung outpost called Pyestock,
A district near Farnborough ye know,
There's a team of lads and a lass,
Up to their armpits in snow.


They've come from a factory in Bristol,
'cept one lad from Derbyshire way,
To work on an aeroplane engine,
That'll power a fighter some day.


Some of 'ems worked on engines,
For Harriers, Tornados, and Sea Kings,
'cept lad whose come down from Derby,
Who does wonders with submarine things.


Some of 'ems worked on Concorde,
As well as the Hawk and the Jag',
So despite not being there with you,
They're doing their bit for the Flag.


They've robbed hotel rooms in Farnham,
The one they are staying at,
Of coffee, and sugar, and teabags,
And shampoo, and things like that.


They've also been down to Waitrose,
A hazardous task you'll agree,
To buy you a few little extras,
During the OAP Trolley Grand-Prix.


So now they've collected their prezzies,
Together, ready to go,
Out to you in the Desert,
From the homelands all covers in snow.


We're not the only ones at it,
There are plenty of others that do,
A little extra shopping,
Just to show they are thinking of you.

Re: Operation Granby

I love that sort of thing, Fruitcake. Playing about with other people's style can be fun. You've been very imaginative with that one.

Keep em coming.

Re: Operation Granby

I'm a great fan of Marriot Edgar too, and wrote this in his style for a bit of a competition on a long-gone website.

This 'ere's the story of St. Valentine
'Oo lost 'is 'ead in 269
The finest feller that ever drew breath
Right up to't time when they put 'im to death

Now Val were a preacher of quite noble birth
At a time when't Romans controlled all the earth
They were always fighting wi' one race or another
Sometimes wi't Brits, sometimes wi' each other

Th'emperor at that time were Claudius 2
A right piece of work 'e was let me tell you
'E liked nowt better than stirring up trouble
'til Vandals came calling to burst 'is bubble

Word was sent out for his soldiers to come
Down to Pannonia to fight agint th'un
When no soldiers came, old Claud were right cross
"Right!" says 'e, "I'll show 'em 'oos boss."

Th'emperor said "You'll fight, for the 'onour of Rome",
The soldiers said "Sod that, we're stoppin' at 'ome.
To be wi' our sweethearts, and to make them our wives,
We can't keep scrappin' for't rest of our lives"

Cos 'e couldn't get soldiers to protect all 'is land
Th'emperor Claudius 'ad all weddings banned
If they couldn't get wed, they needn't stay 'ome
Instead they could fight for Claudius and Rome

Valentine thought that this weren't just right
So he started to wed couples in secret at night
But one fateful day old Claudius found out
And said "I'll show this preacher my laws he can't flout"

So they chucked him in't nick with a cell to reside in
And just for good measure gave 'im a good hiding
'e were fair black and blue were't poor old lad
Malnourished and poorly and feelin' right bad

Then 'e saw't jailer's daughter, nice lookin' and that
Nice curvy figure but blind as a bat
It were love at first sight, (well for 'im anyway)
And 'e fell on 'is knees and started to pray

All of a sudden there were a blinding white light
And't jailer's daughter recovered her sight
When the first time, she saw 'im, all manly and fine
She said in a whisper "Your my Valentine"

Miracles like that they soon get about
And Val bein' Christian put old Claudius out
"Bring 'im to me!" said Claud wi' a bellow
"I'll soon put a stop to this Valentine fellow"

"Now just you look `ere" Said Claudius 2
"I've just about well 'ad enough of you,
With your preachin' 'n teachin' an' makin' me look bad,
If you don't stop what you're doin' you'll be in trouble my lad"

But Valentine said "Well I'll tell you old Claud,
I can't stop preachin' 'n teachin' 'bout God"
"So do your worst" our Valentine said
"O.k" said Claudius, "Off with his 'ead!"

'Is body were buried on't fourteenth of Feb.
And to this day, 'ee's still a minor celeb
Cos he wrote cards to a girl 'e was 'oping to wed
We all have to send 'em or there'll be trouble ahead


Copyright February 2008

Re: Operation Granby

I like that Judd. Did you win't comp?

Re: Operation Granby

Aye. No prize, it was just a bit o' fun between friends.

Re: Operation Granby

I wrote several poems in that style, but they were so specific to events and equipment at work that nobody outside the people who worked on those projects would understand. I was actually christened the poet laureate by the chief engineer of one particular project for my whimsical odes.

Re: Operation Granby

Sorry Fruitcake. Didn't mean to take your thread off-topic when you were writing about your experiences.

Re: Operation Granby

No worries. It was relevant to what I had writ.