Apologies if I have told this before, but it's one of my favorites:

It was Thanksgiving and away from home while our husbands finished Navy flight school, we decided to save expenses and have a big potluck dinner. My friend Audrey wanted to bake the turkey.

Thanksgiving morning, she called crying hysterically ,saying that she must have purchased Tom turkey and the wasn't going to be enough meat to feed everyone. "How do you know it's a Tom?" I asked.

She sobbed, "because it's so skinny and bony!" Confused and suppressing laughter, I told her that I would be right over...

At her home, I was led down the long hall that led straight to the kitchen. Opening the oven, she burst into tears again at the sight of the bird. Squinting through the heat, I could see, sure enough, that bones projected forward where tender breast meat should have been . Pulling out the rack, I realized immediately what the problem was and exclaimed that the turkey was in the pan upside-down.

Relieved, we knew that all we had to do was turn it over, but when we did so, it slipped, taking magnificent bump on the oven door, before it hit the tile floor, slid all the way across the kitchen and another good fifteen feet down the hall where it finally came to rest against the front door - but not before taking one last triumphant ricochet.

Shocked, we stood there in frozen silence for a few seconds before I burst out laughing and Audrey burst into tears again.

Immediately, I concocted a plan and swore her to secrecy. We hoisted the turkey (not easy, mind you, the think was as slippery as a basket of eeels) back in the pan...took it into the bathroom...and then proceed to give the thing a good a good, hot bath.

After a few minutes of scrubbing, we returned the bird, breast-side up to the oven, none the worse for wear.

Three house later, as twenty of us gathered around our the table, dining on the perfectly roasted bird, imagine the look I gave Audrey when one of the pilots, with several heads nodding in agreement announced, "This is the moistest, most tender turkey I have ever eaten!"

Any food I drop doesn’t have chance to hit the floor, my cat like reactions always catch it ,, I don’t like sharing my food...even with the floor

You're lucky Primus. A few weeks ago I took a pizza out of the oven and it promptly decided to flip over and fall onto the kitchen floor face down. I had to throw it straight in the bin and I was ravenous too having just returned from the gym. Sulking, I went out for some fish and chips instead

Floydy,I had fish and chips a while back,I got on the scales after eating it,I had put on 2lbs,I haven't eaten it since!.::

Floydy,I had fish and chips a while back,I got on the scales after eating it,I had put on 2lbs,I haven't eaten it since!.::

It's a very fattening meal, Pauline which I'll only eat about once a month.
We need to watch out figures don't we?

Must have been Rock. Rocks are heavy.

Apologies if I have told this before, but it's one of my favorites:

It was Thanksgiving and away from home while our husbands finished Navy flight school, we decided to save expenses and have a big potluck dinner. My friend Audrey wanted to bake the turkey.

Thanksgiving morning, she called crying hysterically ,saying that she must have purchased Tom turkey and the wasn't going to be enough meat to feed everyone. "How do you know it's a Tom?" I asked.

She sobbed, "because it's so skinny and bony!" Confused and suppressing laughter, I told her that I would be right over...

At her home, I was led down the long hall that led straight to the kitchen. Opening the oven, she burst into tears again at the sight of the bird. Squinting through the heat, I could see, sure enough, that bones projected forward where tender breast meat should have been . Pulling out the rack, I realized immediately what the problem was and exclaimed that the turkey was in the pan upside-down.

Relieved, we knew that all we had to do was turn it over, but when we did so, it slipped, taking magnificent bump on the oven door, before it hit the tile floor, slid all the way across the kitchen and another good fifteen feet down the hall where it finally came to rest against the front door - but not before taking one last triumphant ricochet.

Shocked, we stood there in frozen silence for a few seconds before I burst out laughing and Audrey burst into tears again.

Immediately, I concocted a plan and swore her to secrecy. We hoisted the turkey (not easy, mind you, the think was as slippery as a basket of eeels) back in the pan...took it into the bathroom...and then proceed to give the thing a good a good, hot bath.

After a few minutes of scrubbing, we returned the bird, breast-side up to the oven, none the worse for wear.

Three house later, as twenty of us gathered around our the table, dining on the perfectly roasted bird, imagine the look I gave Audrey when one of the pilots, with several heads nodding in agreement announced, "This is the moistest, most tender turkey I have ever eaten!"