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Lion Queen
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23-12-2018, 05:28 PM
1

Christmas Poem

Can't remember if I've shared this with you before, apologies if I have, if not, enjoy my poem.

A Christmas Poem

Christmas is a coming, Bev値l be getting fatter
But at this time of year it really doesn稚 matter

The turkey値l be stuffed with lovely sausagemeat
The table will be dressed looking good and really neat

I値l be making roast potatoes and also pigs in a blanket
The food will be aplenty rather like a banquet

There値l be sprouts on our plate after which we値l be trumping
We値l stuff our belly way too much and end up like a dumpling

To finish we値l have sweet of Christmas pud and custard
By now we値l be feeling stuffed our trousers almost busted

After dinner we値l sing carols squealing like a crazy cat
We値l pull a Christmas cracker and wear a silly hat

We値l tell pathetic jokes and laugh like cackling hens
We値l be pulling silly faces down the camera lens

The beer and wine will flow, eggnog値l make an appearance
In time we値l start to slur our words becoming incoherent

Then off to bed we値l go to dream a happy dream
Of waking up tomorrow for more Christmas pud and Cream!

ゥLion Queen

Merry Christmas from me to you xxx
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23-12-2018, 06:05 PM
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Re: Christmas Poem

Clever
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23-12-2018, 06:27 PM
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Re: Christmas Poem

Excellent!
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23-12-2018, 06:34 PM
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Re: Christmas Poem

I think I may have put this one up before - anyway - here it is:-

A CATASTROPHIC CHRISTMAS TALE !

I have always been daft about Christmas it sends me quite childlike with excitement. I enjoy all the frantic shopping, and baking, and writing of cards but most of all, I love Christmas Trees. Real ones, of course, and the taller the better I am convinced that they are magick. Unfortunately my cat, Merlin, does not share my enthusiasm in fact he hates them!

Ever since his early kittenhood, when he made the mistake of trying to climb one and ended up looking like a small green porcupine, screeching to the world that it 釘it him, and if it did it again he would kill it stone dead !, he has hated all Christmas Trees.

Every year I promise myself that I will find somewhere else to put it, but every year it ends up in the dining room which Merlin regards as his own personal domain so every year there is a fight. Last year, for example, the minute the tree arrived he began crawling around on his stomach, bawling threats from under the sideboard, and spitting at anyone who spoke to him. I fixed the tree firmly in its tub and went upstairs in search of the lights and decorations there was a sickening crash the dining-room carpet was covered in soil and pine needles, the tree cowered in a mangled heap beside its overturned tuband Merlin ? He was very busy on the kitchen windowsill talking to the birds. 的t wasn稚 his fault if the stupid tree fainted was it ? He was only patting it to make it feel welcome !.

Having cleaned up and replanted the tree, I carefully tested all the lights before arranging them in the branches, then came the glass balls, then the bells, then the tinsel then came a large tabby paw instant mayhem ! I swore at him, he spat at me, and things might have turned quite nasty if a friend had not chosen that moment to remind me that it was the season of goodwill to all even cats ! Muttering that THAT cat would make Machiavelli look like a saint, I went off to make some coffee. There was a sickening crash the dining room carpet was covered in soil, pine needles, tinsel, and broken glass and Merlin ? he was sitting by the bedroom fire, 哲oisy things Christmas Trees, he said, 鼎annot have a decent catnap anywhere today !.

Having cleaned up (again) and replanted the now rather battered looking tree, rearranged the surviving balls and tinsel I discovered that the lights would not work. It was not until I walked around the tree at least four times, checking every wretched light bulb, that I noticed the teeth mark through the flex and Merlin ? He was sitting on the sideboard making rude remarks about the Angel on the tree top. Now, Angels are normally very good about that sort of thing but this one had had a very trying day, and she let that cat have a few home truths ! Before I could stop him Merlin sprang and for a few dizzy moments I had 1 1/4 stone of hissing, spitting, tabby hanging from the tree top by his whiskers, vowing that 滴e ate Angels - for breakfast !,- there was a sickening crash
But I am sure you致e got the picture. I still have nightmares about Christmas Trees cringing in terror, as giant tabby cats pursue the Herald Angels, who don稚 seem to be singing very much at all !

Happy Christmas!

(Merlin died in 1993 aged 21 years - I think Nemo could be a recycled version!)
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23-12-2018, 08:15 PM
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Re: Christmas Poem

awwww Tabby, thats a right memory you have there of Merlin x
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24-12-2018, 12:43 AM
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Re: Christmas Poem

Very good LQ...
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24-12-2018, 12:45 AM
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Re: Christmas Poem

Originally Posted by Lion Queen ->
awwww Tabby, thats a right memory you have there of Merlin x
Sorry LQ - wasn't thinking. I should have put up my story on it's own and not hijacked your lovely poem.
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24-12-2018, 09:24 AM
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Re: Christmas Poem

What talented ladies we have on OFF....loved both the poem and the story....Happy Christmas
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24-12-2018, 09:34 AM
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Re: Christmas Poem

Originally Posted by Silver Tabby ->
Sorry LQ - wasn't thinking. I should have put up my story on it's own and not hijacked your lovely poem.
Hey no worries tabby, I right enjoyed reading it xx
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12-01-2019, 01:18 PM
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Re: Christmas Poem

Old but good:

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the casa
Not a creature was stirring, caramba! Qu pasa?
Los nios were tucked away in their camas
Some in vestidos and some in pajamas.

While Mam worked in her little cocina,
El viejo was down at the corner cantina.
The stockings were hanging with mucho cuidado,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas would feel obligado

To bring all the children both buenos and malos
A nice bunch of dulces and other regalos
Outside in the yard, there arose such a grito
That I jumped to my feet like a frightened cabrito

I ran to the window and looked afuera,
And who in the world do you think that it era?
Saint Nick in a sleigh and a big read sombrero
Came dashing along like a crazy bombero!

And pulling his sleigh, instead of venados,
Were eight little burros approaching volados.
I watched as they came and this quaint little hombre
Was shouting and whistling and calling by nombre:

Ay Chato! Ay Pepe! Ay Cuca! Ay Beto!
Ay Pancho! Ay Chopo! Maruca y Nieto!
Then standing erect with his hand on his pecho,
He flew to the top of our very own techo!

With his round little belly like a bowl of jalea,
He struggled to squeeze down our old chimenea,
Then huffing and puffing, at last in our sala,
With soot smeared all over his red suit de gala;

He filled the stockings with lovely regalos,
For none of the nios had been very malos.
Then chuckling along, seeming very contento,
He turned like a flash and was gone like el viento.

And I heard him exclaim and this is verdad,
閃erry Christmas to all, Feliz Navidad!
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