Loneliness

Isn't it strange how just one person can make the difference between feeling great and feeling so lonely?

Since Jim died I've been on my own, and I've got back into full-time work and visited my daughter and grandchildren frequently, but there are still those times at night when it is just me sitting in the living room. My only company being a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of wine.

I tried watching TV, but it doesn't help. I watched it quite a lot when Jim was alive, but now I can't bare watching the programmes that we once watched together.

I'm not one for going to clubs or meeting with people, and I do have friends, but I refuse to burden them with my problems.

I know a lot of you live alone, so how do you cope with loneliness, if you suffer from it?

This forum has been a great help though, and I would have been in a much worse place if it were not for it.

Re: Loneliness

Id say plan a treat for yourself once a month so you have something to look forward to ,perhaps the Theatre or cinema , a day out somewhere you not been to for a long time .. look at holiday brochures and think about a holiday,

Re: Loneliness

I might do that. My brother lives in Texas and I have friends in North Bay, Canada. It is just a case of getting over the thought of traveling abroad without Jim.

Re: Loneliness

I phone a friend and after an hour of gossip and chit chat I normally feel better

Re: Loneliness

Hi Susan I guess I am a lucky person, I am never lonely when on my own only when in a group of people.
I think I have been alone for so long I have got used to it. Now I soon get tired of having company .

One thing I found when my husband died and years later when my son went to University leaving me alone again was not to sit and brood .
When you feel you are brooding find something to do, clean the cooker/cupboards anything . Having something on which to concentrate your attention will take your mind off feeling lonely and you will also have a sense of achievement at a task well done .

Re: Loneliness

12 years ago I moved into my little house after a traumatic divorce . I cried a river , I struggled to get through the weekends alone , I worked two jobs to keep myself going. I drank too much wine , smoked too many ciggys , I never ever thought I would be happy alone , it's taken a long time but I seem to have grown into me . I can get restless but I don't feel lonely , it sort of just came about .

Take one hour at a time , live just in today , yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is a gift that's why it's called the present x

Re: Loneliness

Hi Susan, if I may call you Susan.

Nothing haunts me more than being alone, if I have a real weakness in life that is it and I get nightmares about it and have for a long time.
I wish I knew what to say to you but I can't. Most sincerely I hope that the passage of time heals the pain and returns some happiness once more into your life.

Michael.

Re: Loneliness

Thank you Michael, I appreciate your reply. I pray for the day I awake and feel content with being alone. My worry is that that day won't come and I'll be forever miserable.

Re: Loneliness

That makes sense Susan. I'm sure if I carry on long enough, I will one day feel comfortable with it. It is just a case of waiting for that day to come.

I shouldn't feel sorry for myself. I have a beautiful daughter who is married to a good man (who reminds me a lot of my Jim) and has given me four grandchildren who I love more than life itself.

I've just remembered a very good quote by the late great Robin Williams (God rest his soul) that was:

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it's not.
The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.

So true!

Re: Loneliness

I have been on my own for about 14 years now, plus another 12 or so, before my marriage, as well.
If I'm honest, I sometimes miss somebody to discuss things with, and help with important decisions.
Also, people living alone often do not get touched anymore. I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about affection, an arm round a shoulder or a hand squeeze when you're worried, a shoulder to cry on even.

On the plus side, I have the love and affection of my dogs, I can do what I want when I want, cook what I want and when I feel like it, watch what I want on telly - and I can stretch out and take up the whole bed if I want to!