17-01-2021, 10:02 PM
101
Re: Wind.
HiI am with Art on this,
It is nornal, we would explode if we didn;t expel wind.one of my Ex's used to refer to it as Fluffing.
Ladies can control it much better than men when they are awake.
I spoon with my ladies, so used to getting a few blasts of warm air when they are asleep.
Not something I would ever mention to them.
17-01-2021, 10:25 PM
103
Re: Wind.
There isn’t one person on the planet, who hasn’t “ farted”Many people, when they get very old, fart as they walk along....it’s like chugging noise, bit like a car..in the old days...😂🤣😅.....i also have my moments of doing the same...it can’t be helped.....my middle son once taped me farting in the toilet..he left the recorder behind the toilet bowl, I hadn’t a clue it was there, not until he played it back...I wondered what it was.i couldn’t work out what the noise was,then he told me what he had done........I found it funny....but some find that disgraceful.
18-01-2021, 10:32 AM
105
Re: Wind.
I heard of a seventy-five year old woman who suffered terrible wind, so finally decided she would go to the Doctor.She told him, "I pass wind every time I move."
The doctor asked her to take a seat, and she farted. He asked her to stand, and she farted. He asked her to walk across the room and she farted with every step. Turning round, she farted.
Walking back she farted with every step.
"Hmmm," said the doctor, "I think I need to do a rectal examination. Go behind the screens and take the bottom half of your clothes off whilst I fetch a nurse to act as chaperone."
Outside the door, the doctor could still hear the woman farting each time she move.
Knocking and re-entering he asked the woman to come out from behind the screens and bend over the couch. Again, every movement caused another fart, culminating in the loudest one so far as she bent over.
It was so loud that the receptionists and other patients in the waiting room heard it.
Bending and shining a light in the direction of the lady's fundamental orifice, the doctor asked the woman to spread her cheeks.
As she did so, there was a sudden rush of pungent gas.
After a moment the doctor stood and went to pick up a long wooden pole, and then back walked towards the old lady.
Looking over her shoulder the extremely concerned woman said, "Oh my gods doctor, what are you going to do with that."
"I'm going to open a window, it stinks in here."
18-01-2021, 10:53 AM
106
Re: Wind.
Originally Posted by Fruitcake
->
I heard of a seventy-five year old woman who suffered terrible wind, so finally decided she would go to the Doctor.She told him, "I pass wind every time I move."
The doctor asked her to take a seat, and she farted. He asked her to stand, and she farted. He asked her to walk across the room and she farted with every step. Turning round, she farted.
Walking back she farted with every step.
"Hmmm," said the doctor, "I think I need to do a rectal examination. Go behind the screens and take the bottom half of your clothes off whilst I fetch a nurse to act as chaperone."
Outside the door, the doctor could still hear the woman farting each time she move.
Knocking and re-entering he asked the woman to come out from behind the screens and bend over the couch. Again, every movement caused another fart, culminating in the loudest one so far as she bent over.
It was so loud that the receptionists and other patients in the waiting room heard it.
Bending and shining a light in the direction of the lady's fundamental orifice, the doctor asked the woman to spread her cheeks.
As she did so, there was a sudden rush of pungent gas.
After a moment the doctor stood and went to pick up a long wooden pole, and then back walked towards the old lady.
Looking over her shoulder the extremely concerned woman said, "Oh my gods doctor, what are you going to do with that."
"I'm going to open a window, it stinks in here."
Very good! Yes, I've heard a truncated version of that joke (with the window pole) before, but the way this is written is much better. I hope you don't mind if I nick it!
18-01-2021, 11:52 AM
107
Re: Wind.
Originally Posted by JBR
->
Very good! Yes, I've heard a truncated version of that joke (with the window pole) before, but the way this is written is much better. I hope you don't mind if I nick it!
Since I nicked it in the first place, you are welcome to pass wind, I mean, pass it along as you see fart, I mean fit.
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