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longfellow
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longfellow is offline
Penthouse in Essex overlooking the Thames.
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 7,642
longfellow is male  longfellow has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
12-02-2018, 02:11 PM
1

My Bad Day

It was a pretty, cold, sunny morning when I got up.

8:00 I made a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.

8:15 I made a snow woman as well.

8:17 The nanny of the neighbors complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest.

8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:25 The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf.

8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what’s going on.

8:42 I am told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon.
Things get worse after I mutter : "Yeah, if it's up your a***"

8:52 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.

9:00 I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble at this sensitive time.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.

9:29 A little known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.

9:30 I realized that I should have stayed in bed.

So, how is your day going ?
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Twink55
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Twink55 is offline
Cheshire, England
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 16,510
Twink55 is female  Twink55 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
12-02-2018, 02:39 PM
2

Re: My Bad Day

Don't worry, I will send the OFF Pillow Squad to sort those cops out and then we will lock you in my cellar and claim a hefty ransom before we return you!
longfellow's Avatar
longfellow
Chatterbox
longfellow is offline
Penthouse in Essex overlooking the Thames.
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 7,642
longfellow is male  longfellow has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
12-02-2018, 07:48 PM
3

Re: My Bad Day

OMG Twink locking me up in her cellar, that would be like a dream come true.
I just hope they cannot raise the ransom to quickly..
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Twink55
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Twink55 is offline
Cheshire, England
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 16,510
Twink55 is female  Twink55 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
13-02-2018, 08:29 AM
4

Re: My Bad Day

Originally Posted by longfellow ->
OMG Twink locking me up in her cellar, that would be like a dream come true.
I just hope they cannot raise the ransom to quickly..
Well you will have to take your turn...I have 10 others down there. I like a different slave every day!
BTW I have already been offered 5p to release you.
 

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