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Besoeker
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Doncaster, UK
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01-11-2019, 04:17 PM
1041

Re: Let's have a laugh

Irish adult humour
20 October 2015
A man sees a sign outside a house - 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, he man asks, "So, tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
"In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden!!.
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Richmond
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01-11-2019, 10:05 PM
1042

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Besoeker ->
Irish adult humour
20 October 2015
A man sees a sign outside a house - 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, he man asks, "So, tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
"In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden!!.
Absolutely Love it!!! LOL !
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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02-11-2019, 03:02 PM
1043

Re: Let's have a laugh

I went to a shop today to buy a prosthetic limb.

But when I got there it had changed hands.
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Mr Ploppy
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Perth Western Australia, 3rd house on the right
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03-11-2019, 03:50 AM
1044

Re: Let's have a laugh

The three wise men visit Joseph and Mary in the stable to see the newborn son.
The extremely tall wise man hits his head on the door frame and exclaims,
"Jesus Christ!"
Joseph looks at Mary and says, "Write that down, that's much better than Clyde."
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Richmond
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08-11-2019, 05:22 PM
1045

Re: Let's have a laugh

SQUEEKY TOYS.jpg


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Richmond
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08-11-2019, 05:23 PM
1046

Re: Let's have a laugh

DEADLY PUZZLE.jpg


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JBR
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08-11-2019, 06:34 PM
1047

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
Attachment 11017
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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08-11-2019, 10:47 PM
1048

Re: Let's have a laugh

I just got turned down for a job at Citroen

Turns out you need 2 CVs
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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08-11-2019, 10:50 PM
1049

Re: Let's have a laugh

When Paddy and Mick were both sent to prison during the Troubles, they resolved they'd keep communicating by learning a code and tapping on the walls on the inside.

The system worked very well for several months, until the warden thought they should be split up as cellmates.
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Richmond
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09-11-2019, 01:13 PM
1050

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Judd ->
When Paddy and Mick were both sent to prison during the Troubles, they resolved they'd keep communicating by learning a code and tapping on the walls on the inside.

The system worked very well for several months, until the warden thought they should be split up as cellmates.
LOL!!! Its an Irish Thing!!
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