Re: Elderly Parent

Cookiecate.
I sympathise with your plight and your concern for future care of your MIL

You say that you have been getting very good communication and support from the doctor and your mother-in-law's GP.

Are you able to speak to her GP in regard to your concerns? as he/she and the hospital are able to arange for her to be assessed with regard to having her cared for permanently in a safe environment.

Re: Elderly Parent

I was going to suggest an SOS alarm system as UJ suggested, we got one for Mum from Saga, she was inclined to be forgetful, and I worried that she wouldn't remember to press the alarm if needed.
I was lucky in that i was on hand to care for her, we put her in a nice care home for respite when we went on holidays.
Eventually she was hospitalised and her needs would have been vastly different had she come out, it was suggested a nursing home was the best place, this we found, but the day she was due to be transferred there, she went into a coma and died about 2 weeks later in hospital.

Re: Elderly Parent

Thank you Uncle JoeWe actually put Care Link on line as soon as mother moved into Cumbria, we found two good neighbours to hold keys and everyone has everyone's telephone number, but when MIL did have a fall the button she should have around her neck was in fact lying happily by her bed. Now she probably forgets she even has this contact. Usually she contacts them regularly to make sure everything is as it should be but she doesn't remember much now at all.

WrinklyThe clock idea is a good one particularly for me!!!!!! MIL on the other hand might not even hear the clock or even remember why it has gone off, but I think this is something I am going to suggest.

After she has had the MRI I think we will be talking about her future and yes I will certainly get those angels the Macmillan nurses involved.

If you have a mobile phone Wrinkly you can set it to remind you to take your meds, my husband does this and it works well for him.

Re: Elderly Parent

Yes Pats Her GP and the hospital are great they have involved me so far they mention data protection but they know that a lady of 85 needs support from someone who is fully aware of the facts, also mum forgets so at the doctor's sometimes I prompt her so that the doctor hears about all her symptoms.

As I told Uncle Joe ValiceMum has this alarm already but she takes it off and forgets to put it on again and when asked why she isn't wearing it she says that she keeps pressing it when she leans forward. We have tried to tell her that this isn't a problem and that false alarms often happen and that is a relief to these lovely folk who are at the other end but it doesn't go in anymore.

Re: Elderly Parent

I am sorry to hear about all the ill parents and in laws.
I am lucky that my parents or unlucky if you look at it another way,
that they died youngish.
My Dad had a stroke when he was 49 and I was 16. He lasted 10 years being disabled and a strain on my Mum, and they said it was caused by his smoking.
My Mum died aged 69 from Asbestos related disease and I looked after
her for a year and my two young sons. I always think I was lucky to
have had only a year to look after her when dying as I have seen the
stress and strain a long term parents illness can cause to the ones
looking after them. Generally it ends up on one of the children to
look after them and in my case out of 4 children it was me.
It was a strain on me but I found it also gave me strength for my
future so from being aged 36 when my Mum died I have been parent
free and a stronger more helpful person. Didn't have to look after
my MIL as she lived 200 miles away and died suddenly.
I do feel sorry for the carers of the elderly who are now themselves
elderly. That is a strain you wouldn't want. Take care all.

Re: Elderly Parent

Hi BowieyesI think the most difficult thing for my husband is that he has known his mother as a very strong domineering woman who was in charge of everything. She ran her own shop in Manchester and adopted him and fostered another boy, her husband died about 30 years ago so she has been on her own and happy to be so. She has over the years been a solid support for us and it is very difficult to see this strong woman turn into a frail sick old lady. It also makes me aware of what my future might be.

I also know a lady of 82 who still wears heels, uses make up and goes to bingo every Friday with her male friend but it does seem that the eighties are the hardest time of a lot of peoples lives.

Re: Elderly Parent

Best wishes Cate to all concerned, the advice here has been top notch ....

Re: Elderly Parent

Cate darlin' - instead of wearing the Care-link call button on a necklace, I have mine on an elasticated strap and wear it like a watch.

Re: Elderly Parent

Brilliant idea Uncle Joe, I'm sure mum could manage that as she always wears a bracelet. Well done sir.

Re: Elderly Parent

That's why I say these lovely people have given me lots of good sense over the years so I always ask them what they think. Sometimes because we don't see or know each other personally it is easier to offer advice instead of asking friends and family who are to close to the problem and are emotionally involved.l