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Richmond
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25-05-2019, 05:00 PM
561

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy ->
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached
the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, and what are you seeing the
doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my penis," he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a
crowded office and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in
this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong
with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the
doctor in private."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her
advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.
LOL!! That will teach The Dragon at the Door!!
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JBR
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25-05-2019, 06:57 PM
562

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Judd ->
People walked out of the Spice Girls concert last night because of dreadful sound problems. A sound engineer has been sacked for causing the issues.

He turned the Mic's on.
Good point.
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effingpot
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25-05-2019, 07:54 PM
563

Re: Let's have a laugh

Should have got Gordon in!

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26-05-2019, 01:55 AM
564

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Judd ->
Arnold Schwarzenegger at the age of seventy-one is to star in a new Terminator film later this year. They have changed his catchphrase slightly though to,

"Ah, me back. "
That’s how I feel after digging a trench two days ago.

BTW, I’ve developed a new addiction. Brake fluid.
But I can stop if I want to.
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effingpot
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27-05-2019, 10:43 AM
565

Re: Let's have a laugh

Bit ironic, you ass! ��

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28-05-2019, 11:27 AM
566

Re: Let's have a laugh

Was in the pub last night with a few mates and these four huge bastards started mouthing off at us.

"Pretend we're the police" my mate said.

I only got half-way through the first verse of Roxanne before they kicked the shit out of us.
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Richmond
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28-05-2019, 03:28 PM
567

Re: Let's have a laugh

The One and Only Billy Connolly ::

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Mr Ploppy
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29-05-2019, 09:06 AM
568

Re: Let's have a laugh

Billy Connolly, by far my favorite comedian.


They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.
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Richmond
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29-05-2019, 05:35 PM
569

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy ->
Billy Connolly, by far my favorite comedian.


They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.
Billy is definitely having the last laugh -- and long may it continue!

He and Dave Allen are my favourites
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30-05-2019, 10:09 PM
570

Re: Let's have a laugh

Here is an actual list of aircraft problems reported by pilots at the end of the day for the mechanics to fix before takeoff the next day followed by the notes the mechanics left for the pilots to read the next morning. (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire (P) Something loose in cockpit (S) Something tightened in cockpit (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear (S) Evidence removed (P) DME volume unbelievably loud (S) Volume set to more believable level (P) Number three engine missing (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search
 
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