07-05-2019, 09:25 AM
493
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by effingpot
->
Did I miss something?
Have I done this before? I can't remember, must be oldtimers or alzheimers.
What do you call a Spanish woman flying a plane?
Scoll down for the obvious answer.
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.A pilot.
07-05-2019, 09:34 AM
494
Re: Let's have a laugh
TWENTY DOLLARSOn their wedding night, the young bride
Approached her new husband and asked
For $20.00 for their first lovemaking
Encounter. In his highly aroused state,
Her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made
Love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other
incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was
Surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that
His employer was going through a process of corporate
Downsizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find
Another position that paid anywhere near what
He'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
Showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling
Nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued
by thebank which were worth over $2 million,
And informed him that they
Were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for more than
Three decades she had 'charged' him for sex,
These holdings had multiplied and these were the
Results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments
Worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could
Barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,
'If I'd had any idea what you were doing,
I would have given you all my business!'
That's when she shot him.
I know' I didn't see this coming either
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
To keep their mouths shut
Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.
But push the wrong button and you're disconnected! ��
07-05-2019, 10:37 AM
495
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Richmond
->
TWENTY DOLLARSOn their wedding night, the young bride
Approached her new husband and asked
For $20.00 for their first lovemaking
Encounter. In his highly aroused state,
Her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made
Love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other
incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was
Surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that
His employer was going through a process of corporate
Downsizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find
Another position that paid anywhere near what
He'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
Showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling
Nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued
by thebank which were worth over $2 million,
And informed him that they
Were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for more than
Three decades she had 'charged' him for sex,
These holdings had multiplied and these were the
Results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments
Worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could
Barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,
'If I'd had any idea what you were doing,
I would have given you all my business!'
That's when she shot him.
I know' I didn't see this coming either
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
To keep their mouths shut
Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.
But push the wrong button and you're disconnected! ��
Very clever!
08-05-2019, 06:53 PM
500
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by big ben
->
A corny one Murphy said to O'Brien. "Why do Scuba divers go backwards into the water off a boat?"
O'Brien said "Well if he went forwards he would end up flat on his face in the bottom of the boat"
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