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Mollie
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Mollie is offline
Wigan in Lancashire
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 5,631
Mollie is female  Mollie has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
14-09-2012, 01:21 AM
41

Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)

Hi Archie. I've not reported in for a while because I decided to scare the daylights out of the serf. I went all weird on her and pretended I wasn't me by doing things I've never done before. I could tell she was worried about me because I was pretending to be afraid of the washing machine and the dryer in the kitchen. I pretended to be terrified of her mop as well and she was completely baffled. Then I pretended I didn't know how to jump up onto the worktop where she feeds me, which gave me the golden opportunity of her making efforts to lift me up. I enjoyed that. I've never been picked up before and it was okay. I am also still "intact" so I tried my winning ways on her, but it seems she doesn't fancy me. I don't really fancy her either, but a Tom's gotta do what a Tom's gotta do! In fact, she admonished me, so I hissed at her and she backed off. I is a norty puss-cat, but I loves her really as she feeds me, strokes me and calls me a good boy.

I do worry her though because I scraps with every other of my ilk as and when I can and I has the battle scars to prove it of which I takes a great pride in. She does a tut-tutting sound which I think means disapproval but she can't stop me. NOBODY can stop Be-elzebub, although she calls me Billie for short.
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Robert Junior
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Robert Junior is offline
UK
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Posts: 5,965
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15-09-2012, 12:50 PM
42

Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)

Hi Billie,
I’m bored with Robert & nurse Gillian. They’re so obliging and nothing phases them. I try to manipulate them and they fall for it every time.
Take yesterday. They have a new settee, well newish, it was from OXFAM .. whatever that is. It’s quite high up which I like, but they have put trays and boxes all along its 3 cushions preventing me from curling up on it. Childish behaviour.
All I had to do was sit by the door, wait for one of them to get up and I was in their nice warm spot in no time.
They’ve put the old settee in the front garden with a FREE sign on it, people have sat in it while waiting for Fatties Morning (Weight Watchers) to open over the road in the Parish Hall.

Speaking of which, Robert used to go but he was asked to leave cos he fell asleep every week during the pep-talk. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t snored.

Hey -up, they’re on the move. Cat(ch) you later
Mollie's Avatar
Mollie
Chatterbox
Mollie is offline
Wigan in Lancashire
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 5,631
Mollie is female  Mollie has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-09-2012, 08:43 PM
43

Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)

Hi Archie

It's not summat I do much of, sitting on settees and stuff, as I'd sooner sit on the cold tiles in the kitchen. The serf looks at me with disdain, especially as there's a comfy rug I could lie on, but I likes to keep her thinking how hard I must be, when in reality me three piece suite are frozen.

I drives her bonkers though (that's why she calls me Billie Bonkers). I waits until she's in the middle of cooking her tea, then I jumps down from the out-house roof and starts butting her with me little furry head and she knows she has to stop what she's doing and feed me before she carries on. Then, I wolfs me grub down that fast that I need another pouch. I sometimes try to help her out with the cooking by trying to sample something she's just chopped, but for some odd reason she doesn't like me doing that. I went sniffing at a peeled onion yesterday and it made me eyes water, so I'll not be doing that again.
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Robert Junior
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Robert Junior is offline
UK
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Posts: 5,965
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16-09-2012, 11:55 AM
44

Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)

Archie has found a little new friend.
It’s a toy filled with his favourite, catmint
He pokes it and pulls it but in the end
Gives it a fairly rough treatment

I fear he has become romantically attached
We really should have found him a pal
He spends too much time giving poor thing a bash
But he’s been “done” and now’s more or less a gal
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Robert Junior
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Robert Junior is offline
UK
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Posts: 5,965
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18-09-2012, 09:33 PM
45

Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)

Hey ho chums,

I have a confession to make, I’m getting quite attached to my “owners”.

Well, Robert shuffles around the house puffing and panting. I don’t know why he doesn’t just stay put in the all singing all dancing chair he bought last year at great cost, I might add.

He’s also got 2 wheelchairs, one of them electric, like his chair but he only gets in them as a last resort
“I want my independence, if I get in that chair I’ll never walk again” Off he goes again, poor old bugger.

Nurse Gillian fluffs around him anticipating what he’ll want next.

He really looks forward to sitting at his desk and computing, listening to music and playing patience. More often than not he falls asleep and wakes up looks around to see where he is & drops off again.

He’s up & heading for the kitchen, followed by his dear nurse Gillian, Hey up he’s doubled back just as I got comfy in his warm chair,,,,,,,,,drat, drat , drat


(Cat)ch you later
Robert Junior's Avatar
Robert Junior
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Robert Junior is offline
UK
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Posts: 5,965
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20-09-2012, 08:13 PM
46

Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)

20 September 2012

Hi, Archie here,

Left on my own again today, all day. They’ve suddenly regained their zest for life and have been out for 3 days in a row.

Suits me. Well, I have to put a brave face on it. I mean having an unappetising pile of food out of those wet food packets left for me to nibble at all day. I like them to mix it in my nice stainless steel bowl when I want it and with them in attendance while I eat it.

I am overdue a fussy period. Any cats reading this will know what I mean. It’s when I appear to be off my food, it never fails to get their attention and they dash out and come back with lots of different things to “tempt” me with.

It’s only fair, after all , how would you like beans everyday?

We’ve mice in the shed , well under the shed, pesky things. I had a bit of trouble last time the mice took up residence when I let a couple loose in the house. I didn’t mean to, they were too fast for me and slipped from my grasp. Robert managed to corner them one at a time and flung them back out the garden.

What was he thinking of? He does the same with spiders, catches them and flings them out the garden.

Yon humans are a strange lot

(cat)ch you later
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Mollie
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Mollie is offline
Wigan in Lancashire
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 5,631
Mollie is female  Mollie has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
20-09-2012, 11:53 PM
47

Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)

Hi Archie. Yeh, I'm getting quite fond of her indoors as well. I suppose she deserves a bit of attention from me after what I did to her a couple of years ago.

I didn't know she was being friendly. I thought she was going to give me a clout which I'd been used to in the past, so I didn't really know what kindness was. I'm good to her now, except for when I try to trip her up, and snatch out at her when she's walking past, but I need attention as well.

I do feel a bit sorry for her 'cos when she comes home from work she looks knackered, and I've just been sat preening all day, then I start to demand feeding. I've pretended to be off my food as well, Archie, and it works wonders.

So Archie, they've had your under-carriage tampered with then, have they? Well, I won't hold that against you "lass."

Just to show I care about her, I bring her a nice little furry vole or mouse which I've caught and prepared specially for her, but for some reason she yells at me. I keep trying, and she keeps yelling, but I've not figured out why yet.

I hope Robert's knee is better now. He's no use to you if he can't run round pampering to your every whim, as is the right of a cat.

I'll be taking off tomorrow. I heard the serf mention something about cavity wall insulation and that it would make a lot of noise, so I'm offski 'cos I don't like loud noises so I shall be stepping out, and I may be a while!
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Robert Junior
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Robert Junior is offline
UK
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Posts: 5,965
Robert Junior is male  Robert Junior has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
22-09-2012, 10:33 AM
48

Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)

ARCHIE’S DIARY

They’re at it again, this time of year they start bringing objects home, looking very pleased with themselves. Then they wrap this junk up in garish shiny paper & hide the parcel for a few weeks,. Out they come again& this time they’re put under a fir tree in my front room, my favourite spot for sharpening my claws. Then, would you Adam & Eve it, they pull off the paper & give each other these objects.

Waste of paper, if you ask me. Mind you, when all their relatives visit them, they lock me in their bedroom, it’s lovely & comfy in there, so I make a point of not crapping or throwing up in that room. Fair do’s eh?

Roberts spending a lot of time in the shed lately, he can’t be making anything cos he cant hammer a nail in straight. I think he has a nap in the old armchair he’s put in there. I’m not allowed in there cos of frightening his canaries, I’ll do more than scare ‘em if I ever get in there.

Ay up, it’s light outside, I think I’ll go out & snarl a bit, too cold to stay outside long.
Mollie's Avatar
Mollie
Chatterbox
Mollie is offline
Wigan in Lancashire
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 5,631
Mollie is female  Mollie has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
24-09-2012, 02:21 AM
49

Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)

Hi Archie

I've never seen anything like that before, with shiny paper, parcels and a fir tree, at least not since I moved in here three years ago.

I've been having a kip on her chest freezer, which is my favourite spot, and she's put a couple of rugs on there and a thick towel to make me comfy. She strokes me and kisses me and tells me I'm a good boy, but I can sense some sadness about her, but I don't know why. I'm being good, so it must be something else. She never has any visitors so it's just her and me, and she always seems happy to see me these days.

I've got an awful feeling that I won't be able to chat with you for much longer, as I think she's moving on to somewhere else, but I'm only a cat, so what do I know of humans?

Once I've gone, I hope you'll find another cat to chat with.

It's been nice being your friend.
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mesco m
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mesco m is offline
manchester
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 4,277
mesco m is female  mesco m has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
26-09-2012, 01:39 AM
50

Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)

Well Archie. My name is Jess and I have a sis named Lil.
We don't like you messing around in our friends garden.
We will be keeping an eye out for you. You won't have it all your own way, even though we can't climb walls. So watch your back
 
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