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02-12-2019, 02:57 PM
1

A Little Something to Cheer You Up On a Monday!

Morning Everyone, Monday again and not much happening except bad news everywhere, so I thought I would try and cheer us all up.

I have just been reading some letters in Quora about the many many differences between Americans and the British characteristics, and honestly, some of them really made me laugh. So, without absolutely no offence meant to either Americans or British, take a look here at some of the funny ways Americans and the British differ in their outlook and see if you agree.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Americans tend to be closet racists, but they show it.

British are openly racist, but they deny it.

Americans think they rule the world.

British did rule the world.

Americans want everybody to be happy at their situation in life.

British want everybody to think they are happy at their situation in life.

Americans don’t directly elect their leader but they think they do.

British think they do directly elect their leader, but they don’t.

Americans think all ‘’Indians’’ come from America.

British think all ‘’Indians’’ come from Asia.

Americans have a silly sense of humour.

British have a dry sense of humour.

Americans think Gin & Tonic is a cocktail with a lime, on ice.

British think Gin & Tonic is a life saving elixir served at room temperature.

Americans think a Spotted Dick is….well, never mind.

British think a Spotted Dick is a fine dessert.

Americans think they are surrounded by foreigners, they are right.

British think they are surrounded by foreigners, and they are right.

Americans don’t understand that they were the original illegal aliens.

British don’t understand that they were the original illegal aliens.

Americans think 32 degrees is cold. Farenheit.

British think 32 degrees is hot. Celsius.

Americans think a pound is 16 ounces.

British think a pound is some kind of money.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

More to follow....
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02-12-2019, 02:58 PM
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Re: A Little Something to Cheer You Up On a Monday!

Here is another from Quora. (warning! One may be offended by content)

Most Americans have mansions made out of paper which falls down at the slightest breeze, chopping down half the rain forest in the process, with plug sockets that fall out if you so much look at them. That costs them exactly $2222 and 56 cents.

Most British live in a house made from stone by a mason who died 400 years ago, that would require a flight of B52’s to knock down. And even then after being blown to smithereens the plug would still be in the socket. Which will cost them for the rest of their working lives.

Most Americans are expecting Jesus to rock up next week and save them from their misery. While paying for a pastor’s Lear Jet.

Most British only say ‘’Oh God’’ when they come.

Most Americans drive pick up trucks which were built in 1964 and have had 3 new engines, 4 gearboxes, 8 sets of suspension, all done by ‘’Bubba’’. While using 400 gallons of fuel a mile, which costs 4 dollars and 62 cents.

Most British drive brand new Tonka toys that they never even lift the bonnet to look at the engine and then trade it in after 3 years for a new model. While using 10 gallons of fuel which costs them £400 and 62 pence.

Most Americans drink a crate of root beer and think they are the Kings. Chug chug chug.

Most Brits drink a crate of Vodka and still act like Kings.

Most Americans think it always rains in the UK.

Most Brits haven’t seen rain for 5 weeks and are heading for a drought.

Most Americans are likely to get shot by their child.

Most Brits have never touched a gun.

Most Americans own an IPhone.

Most Brits own an IPhone.

Most Americans drive 400 miles in 4 hours.

Most British take 4 hours to drive 40 miles.

Most Americans will not see the irony in this post.

Most Brits will hopefully find it amusing.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Sincerely hope no-one is offended by the above as some of the quotes were a bit near the knuckle! Sorry for that, just copied the whole thing as found it really funny.
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02-12-2019, 03:09 PM
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Re: A Little Something to Cheer You Up On a Monday!

What? No mention of faggots?
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02-12-2019, 03:12 PM
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Re: A Little Something to Cheer You Up On a Monday!

Shropie, this has made my day!

We both think we should be the same, yet we realize we are
so different.

Neither of us would have it any other way.
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02-12-2019, 03:37 PM
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Re: A Little Something to Cheer You Up On a Monday!

Judd, there was but I didn't put it in as you can imagine!


Right Now, lol, you are so right. We are the same but different.
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02-12-2019, 04:18 PM
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Re: A Little Something to Cheer You Up On a Monday!

Here is an American’s humorous view of the British…

Their language is really screwed up. For one thing they think their scones are biscuits.

They put extra letters in their words for no reason, like colour and call things by the wrong names. Their car trunk is a boot and they call their trucks a lorry. A boot? A lorry? You would never believe what they call their hood, but it’s named after a hat the ladies wear. Their elevators aren’t elevators, they’re lifts. At least that one makes sense.

They drive on the wrong side of the road. It’s a miracle they don’t have more accidents. Actually, who knows how many accidents they have. Coverup?

Their football is ROUND?!! And if that isn’t weird enough, they never ever pass! I’m not kidding and if a ball ends up in the air they catch it with their head! And to score a goal they have to KICK the ball into this tiny little net! I once saw a guy do a backward somersault in order to kick the ball. I can’t go on.

They serve their beer warm. Yuck…..

They wear their pants under their ‘’trousers’’ as underwear and call their real pants trousers. It has been suggested this is another language thing but who would call their underwear pants? Confused? Me too.

Their tape measures are all wrong and they call a yardstick a meterstick although of course, they spell it wrong. They spell it metrestick.

Don’t get me started on their money.

Since they refuse to write down their constitution they have to memorize it.

Even when in the middle of a war, while under attack, they will still stop for tea (!!?) They don’t simply stop for a quick ice cold coke, instead they brew the tea, pour it into cups, and then sit around sipping while chatting about their day! Even today their tanks come with a tea service.

Their TV shows don’t have commercials so they never take restroom breaks but are too polite to squirm.

Instead of eating hamburgers and fries like civilized folk, they consume battered fish and soak their fries in vinegar. I suppose they eat it with tea instead of a Coke or, My God, warm beer. And if that isn’t strange enough, they only eat pancakes once a year, for supper.

I’m not even going to try to explain how screwed up their baseball games are except to say they’ve named it after a noisy insect, use a paddle instead of a bat, and a single game can last five days! Five days!!? And then end in a draw??

*****************************
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02-12-2019, 04:41 PM
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Re: A Little Something to Cheer You Up On a Monday!

AND FINALLY ON THIS COLD DANK MONDAY…

A British view of Ourselves....

The British

Speak ‘English’ properly.

Make decent beer.

Drive on the right side of the road (ie on the left!)

Don’t brag about how big everything is (size does not matter, just the quality)

We have a history

Play cricket (which most Americans don’t understand.)

Play Rugby (Americans play a similar game but need ‘armour’ to protect their delicate bodies.)

Have a great sense of humour (essentially making fun of ourselves)

Drink Tea,

These are just a few….

To all our American friends out there, Don’t worry, we still regard you with respect and as ‘friends’.
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02-12-2019, 04:59 PM
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Re: A Little Something to Cheer You Up On a Monday!

I suppose some here will know that I am British and my wife is American. Some differences...
"I'm going to grab a shower"
How do you grab a shower?
And what is a burrito?
Liquid vehicle fuel is called gas. An anomaly. Gasoline I suppose.

But you don't have to go so far afield. In Scotland getting your messages is usually grocery shopping. Greeting isn't wishing someone good morning or saying hello - it is crying.

Sauchie wee bauchle anyone?
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02-12-2019, 05:29 PM
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Re: A Little Something to Cheer You Up On a Monday!

Originally Posted by Besoeker ->
I suppose some here will know that I am British and my wife is American. Some differences...
"I'm going to grab a shower"
How do you grab a shower?
And what is a burrito?
Liquid vehicle fuel is called gas. An anomaly. Gasoline I suppose.

But you don't have to go so far afield. In Scotland getting your messages is usually grocery shopping. Greeting isn't wishing someone good morning or saying hello - it is crying.

Sauchie wee bauchle anyone?
Wow, that's like reading a foreign language Besoeker
Isn't it strange how mangled the English language is between American and English? even more so between the different regions of the UK. There must be countless words that have different meanings for regions.

I well remember in the late 60's when I went to work with a team of six other PA/Secretaries in the heart of the West End. One day we were all sitting there at one of their desks, conversing about a client who had been in to see her boss and who had been a real pain in the neck towards her.
I came out with a good old Shropshire saying ''Don't take any notice of him, he's just acting like the silly prat he is''.

Imagine my shock therefore when the six of them sat there staring at me aghast. I wasn't to know that in London, to utter the word ''Prat'' was akin to one of the filthiest swearwords around and certainly should not be uttered by any respectable young lady!

I was mortified! I really didn't know, as here in Shropshire it is used as an innocent every-day word to describe someone as a silly, deliberately awkward person.

It certainly caused me to be extra cautious of using words that could be misconstrued in another area of the UK
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02-12-2019, 06:18 PM
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Re: A Little Something to Cheer You Up On a Monday!

Shropie, you have cleared up .... nothing .... but have given me quite a giggle. Silly folks, aren't we? Proves it's not always what we say, or how we pronounce it, it's the way it's delivered from our hearts.
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